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oort kuiper - the doctor rap lyrics
[intro: william hartnell]
have you ever saw what it’s like to wander across all dimensions? have you?
[hook]
calling all monsters, i’ve come here to stop ya
err, excuse me who are you? i’m the doctor
(who?) the one that exterminates daleks
and travels through time and sp-ce in a tardis
(what?) my granddaughter gave it the name
it’s a “time and relative dimension in sp-ce”
and you might be amazed if you come on a ride
because it looks a little but its bigger on the inside
[verse 1]
so let’s start with a quick introduction
to the longest running science fiction show on television
first up, let me dispense with one main -ssumption
the doctor’s the man and doctor who’s the production
doctor who appeared in sixty three
when the program was aired by the bbc
and as everybody huddled around the tv
who’d have thought it would last half a century
an old man in a police box, slightly off key
the cl-ssic mad doctor, with a lot to see
and we would soon learn about his mysteries
as he traversed the universes histories
he made many enemies, and saved many nations
as he strayed sp-ce-time with his faithful companions
and when it seems death is his next destination
he makes like a phoenix with a regeneration
[hook]
[verse 2]
he’s a man with a dozen faces
and doesn’t back down he’s been around for ages
the man from gallifrey, born and raised
where the timelords are known to spend most of their days
but the fate of the doctor was laid when he stole
the tardis, allons-y, geronimo
and so he goes, exploring, and always seeking
and fighting for justice, with both hearts beating
now the timelord award for disaster
is not for the doctor, it goes to the master
a great mind who seemed to l-st after
dreams of world conquest with hearts beating harder
knock, knock, knock, knock, there’s a mental reminder
who’s at the door?, not who! just the doctor
you can lock doors but that won’t stop him either
so watch, as he calibrates the sonic screwdriver
[hook]
[verse 3]
now come on, that’s fairly illogical
and plus time travelling is really impossible
the energy to conquer light speed is an obstacle
ya feeling okay? i think da doc needs a hospital
been there, done that, ask the judoon
a platoon had us trapped and marooned on the moon
because an alien escaped and had come to earth
but it weren’t the first time and some are even worst
i protected your world when the cybermen invaded
you will be deleted if you can’t be updated
and if you can brave it, make haste into cardiff
cause there you’ll find davros and a bunch of his daleks
i’ve beaten mean machines and other bad monsters
like the green slitheen, the human imposters
and if you still think time travelling’s bonkers
blink when you see the weeping angels are on ya
[hook]
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