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officialdjaaron - try again lyrics

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[intro]
_inaudible noise_
mm, mm, yeah
_clears throat_

[verse]
look, you lost this heart, and you know i ain’t okay
i’ll cut the world out if i don’t know what to say
they that “it gets better”, that “it’ll be okay”
but i don’t wanna talk, get the f_ck up out my face

i’m twenty_two and i’m not happy with the life i live
i watch my friends, they buying houses, getting married, they’re all having kids
and i’m stuck here just wondering what i did
like why can’t i be happy, why’s depression always here

i talk to god, like, “what i’m always hurtin’ for?”
every time i try to fix it, it just hurts me more
i stay lying to myself, and i say that i’m okay, but it’s so hard to find myself, ’cause i don’t know what i’m sеarchin’ for

i feel so numb, but at the same time, i’m hurtin’
i want to lovе myself, but my heart don’t even work
’cause in my head, i’m drowning, with depression, i’m submerged
always screaming out for help, but i’m always left unheard

i feel like no one really cares about my feelings
sometimes, i drink until i’m numb, so i don’t feel this
they ask me why i run away, instead of healing it
but what’s the point in talking? they wouldn’t understand my reasons

poppin’ pain k!llers, nothing’s really a pain k!ller
my best friend lost her life, she left a pain, k!ller
she was dealt some bad cards, and satin was the dealer
i can’t blame her, she just stopped if the drugs heal her

but i can’t blame her, this pain, it get’s so heavy, i just want to break
what’s the point in life? i’m dying every day
’cause this pain inside my chest, it’ll never go away
i stay locked inside my mind, and i just want to escape

and i don’t want to talk about it, should be told i’m embarrassed
trauma that’s inside of me, it’s passed down from my parents
they’d probably throw me in a straight jacket if i ever was to share this
i ain’t even rappin’ this me cryin’ if you hear this

this the word of a man who’s close to giving up
i’m tired of fightin’ all these demons, i don’t give a f_ck!
i’ll never give away my heart away again, man i’ve had enough
i never that the one who hurt me, would be the person that i love, d_mn

i’m so detached from reality, it sickens me
i’m not okay with bein’ sad, i just pretend to be
’cause i ain’t been okay, since the day she walked away, and i don’t want opinions, you’ll never know how much she meant to me

i’ve been fightin’ since you left, ’cause you shield me
i’d give you everything if it k!lls me
’cause if loving you is wrong, lock me up, ’cause i’m guilty
right now i’m not okay, but, eventually i will be (ah)

i hate writing, but, i’m deep inside my mind again
every time i think about you, i just cry again
maybe in another life we can try again
so, i pull the trigger quick, and hope one day we can try again

_gunshot_

- officialdjaaron lyrics

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