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nantes - lijah's eulogy lyrics
[verse]
don’t move my body, it’s full of resentment
the choices we make bring us to a stalemate in life when you were needed
the sordid confines of the flesh in which a misguided child finds comfort
your comfort was needed you passed on the weekends
a few years since your departure and they speak thusly of your flesh & blood
so i ask where were you, dad?
sperm donor’s the only name in which you are known
my house, for years, has been a broken home
b_tch, if i had the power i woulda k!lled you twice
look at my life, i wanted better and i know better
momma told me i was clever but what did you do?
dad, where were you when momma had to scr_p with erin?
when my sister was on the streets bleedin’ out of her f_ckin’ p_ssy don’t you push me, you p_ssy and where’s your father?
just know i hate you, eat a f_ckin’ frozen d_ck and sh_t a d_mn glacier misplacin’ my sense of direction
talkin to these hoes gave me a direct erection
treatin’ your momma wrong, son,i guess i got it from my dad; quite sad, isn’t it?
i died over bullsh_t just lemme tell you i promised i would do it
marky, don’t let me fail you
minni, don’t let me deceive you
nae nae, i think i need you
alex, i live and f_ckin’ breathe you
but go on, kid, be bigger and better than me
kuz lijah was no better than snorting caine, the b_tch n_gga with the silver tongue
the son of dalone who never fights but he d_mn sure can run
and who am i? and who am i?
and who are you beneath these streetlights?
preachin’ a hermit’s wisdom
burgundy and cerulean flags battle but you scream don’t k!ll him they claim you soft
the woman paint you a wh0re, untrustworthy
the n_ggas paint you meek, a b_tch n_gga sizin’ you up with the the devil’s intentions
can i be your insight? your haywire intuition?
paraphrasing what demons in the dark said to me,” f_ck me, i am sunshine. your baddest b_tch, greatest fear, and biggest mistake.”
dazed, i replied, “i love you more than them but i can’t. imma father, a son, a brother.”
she gripped the nine tighter, replying,” i love like no other. i am not nae nae. i am not erika. i am not minni, joi, mary or monique. i am sunshine.”
seein’ her true intentions as my sperm donor stood to her right and my sins to her left
i could do nothin’ but take a knee
and the devil said “nantes, your evils are mine to keep
please lend an ear to me
i see the twists in your hair, knots in your nappy afro
i follow you through avenues and backroads la to tennessee
god lies in this hennessy
take it to the head and take heed, you will enter me”
the streetlights guide me, broken with a bullet in my bones, and i sip the elixir foolishly
and as i lay dying to my only son i recite his father’s eulogy
[refrain]
and you heard it from the lips of a dyin’ man
the streetlights know the plan
and you heard it from the lips of a dyin’ man
the streetlights know the plan
they know the plan, young n_gga
microfone: “ay, bro, you still got some soul left!”
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