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nancy linari - teaching third grade lyrics

[miss th_rn, spoken]
i must admit mrs. denmark
in all my years as a professional actress
and i’ve lived on both coasts
i’ve never known anyone
to want a part so desperately
it’s as if starring in the school show
means too much to tina

[judy, spoken]
that’s what worries me

[miss th_rn]
there’s no need to worry
unknit your brow
for though tina’s
taking this hard right now
experience tells me i’m happy to say
she’ll get over her disappointment
someday

[miss th_rn, spoken]
she’ll learn that being a star isn’t everything
there are many wonderful careers one can choose
that are еqually rewarding
and at least as exciting
look at mе…
[miss th_rn]
teaching third grade
shaping the minds of a new generation
no longer afraid
to get on with my life
and off medication

sure, i went to new york
to be an overnight sensation
more than a face
i was a winning combination
of talent and grace
shoulda packed mace
’cause i was mugged, raped and robbed
before i left penn station

now i’m back, lord
at the blackboard
teaching third grade

[judy, spoken]
miss th_rn, don’t you think it’s a good idea
for someone in showbusiness
to have something to fall back on

[miss th_rn]
something to fall back on
sure, it works for some
but i fell back
and look what’s life’s become
tonight i’ll get cozy
pour wine, light the tapers
then sit there, alone there
all night grading papers
the pay may be steady
my summers are free
but do you want your daughter
to turn out like me
yeah, i had something to fall back on
safe and so secure
with very few surprises in store
this cheery demeanor
it’s all a charade
the truth is i’m bored
i hate teaching third grade

sick of jane and sick of d_ckie
never quiet, always sticky
noses runny, noses bleedy
little runts so bl__dy needy
joan hits janeice with a slinky
bart makes terry touch his winkie
this one cried and this one peed
i can’t take it, god, i need

something to fall back on
from what i’ve fallen back on

[judy, spoken]
about tina?

[miss th_rn]
as far as the lead in the show, my dear
she’ll have to get over
not winning this year
into each life rain falls, i’m afraid
life is a b_tch
and it starts in third grade

- nancy linari lyrics

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