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mushy mustard - got a big problem lyrics

[chorus: esham]

[verse 1: batter]
i got a big problem, it started with an elf
he sold me a gator for about a twelfth
of the carrots i have in my garage
for the horse that i’m trying to train for dressage
now i have a gator, tryin’ to feed him all the rats
but my mom is coming over, and she gets in these spats
where she blames me for my house crumbling down
lady, i don’t need that cr_p when my bas_m_nt is about to drown
the gator’s down there now, but he ain’t drinkin’ nothing
he’s got rats to eat, but he keeps eating the couch stuffing
the jello molds are starting to fall from the roof
and the landlord is asking about my insurance proof
my girlfriend’s coming over, she says she owns a zoo
but i told her i’m sixty, and i’m only thirty_two
she thinks she’s dating a gilf, what am i to do?
and also, my house is all full of gator poo

[chorus: esham]

[verse 2: stir]
a nineteen_year_old kid was owing me some cash
so i met him in the alleyway to get it back fast
he had a basketball and said you wanna play horse?
but i wasn’t interested in in his little games of course
i slapped the ball out of his hands and said where is my money
he picked it back up and said don’t worry man it’s coming
i got up in his face and said what do you mean where is it
he said the money’s coming, man, just give me five minutes
i said that doesn’t cut it now you got a big problem
i reached into my back pocket and pulled out my shotgun
and pressed the silver barrel on his face between his eyes
and said hand over the money or you’ll have to say goodbye
i guess i spoke too loud ’cause i attracted attention
another guy was walking by and played good samaritan
he jumped on my back and dragged me to the cops
and now i’m stuck in jail for all my life i’m gonna rot

[chorus: esham, mustard]
(go!)

[verse 3: b natural]
got a big problem and that problem is
i don’t have enough p_ss
when i p_ss i get really feeling
that i’m not really peeing
and i do not drink that much water
and this does affect my bladder
it’s a big problem_ stop laughing! i can’t_ in that i need to drink
if i want to be able to link
my gameboys together to play competitive tetris
that is a problem because my mom said
if i don’t play competitive tetris she’ll burn my bed
my mom likes competitive tetris a lot
i guess_ i guess you could say that she’s a bad person
i have a big problem i wish i didn’t
if i didn’t have a big problem i would bidn’t
on that auction in which i lost a lot
of money which is a big problem
[chorus: esham]

[verse 4: mustard]
it’s a big problem that i’m running out of song topics
some of the ideas i had would be a flop, it’s
things like, pizza quest, handwriting, halloween rats
fifth grade, mousetrap, read the map
wacky facts, four twenty, sin corner, filmography
surprise, giving blood, 5 stars, spider story
loving gold, graveyard golf, daily routine
see it in the dark, and f the police
you might hear some of these songs on the album
but as of writing this verse i think the ideas are all dumb
got a big problem, don’t have any good beats
got a big problem with the way you’re looking at me

[chorus: esham]

[verse 5: batter]
you’ve got a big problem? well i don’t believe you
you say it’s real, but it don’t affect me too
what about it do you want me to do
i can’t be like you and just sit here and stew
you’ve got a big problem but it doesn’t affect me
maybe in a few hundred years we’ll see
but even then i can’t imagine not being able to
just suck it up and deal with it, so here and now why can’t you
got a big problem but it’s all in your head
i refuse to believe this problem might make you dead
if you’re the one k!lling yourself, why should i care?
why should i bother if you’re the one tearing out your hair
to fix yourself there’s only one plan
forget about it all and listen to the man
it’s a problem you made up, it’s up to you to choose
whether you want this problem to make you lose

- mushy mustard lyrics

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