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mt. oriander - if this is sadness, i don't like it one bit lyrics

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i feel the snow snap underneath my weight
a series of footsteps in an otherwise unbroken canvas of white
as light from buildings pours out over plump flakes of snow
throwing colors into the night sky like fireworks

i stop to catch my breath

the air is still and i can hear every single move i make
as though i am the grand marshal of a holiday parade
crashing down busy streets
heralding a jungle of noise so dense that you can’t even think

now stationary, i hear nothing
unmoving, thoughts move in
like, “did i just waste another year without getting anything done?”
or “how long until i feel a sense of purpose again?”

suddenly, i am afraid to turn around
as though my failures have taken shape
snow continues to fall
a car passes by and the spell is broken

i turn around and see nothing
it’s getting colder so i start moving again
christmas lights warm a window i pass by
and it makes me feel homesick

- mt oriander

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