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monty python - the philosophers song lyrics

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immanuel kant was a real p-ssant
who was very rarely stable.

heidegger, heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.

david hume could out-consume
wilhelm freidrich hegel.

and wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as schloshed as schlegel.

there’s nothing nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
’bout the raising of the wrist,
socrates, himself, was permanently p-ssed.

john stuart mill, of his own free will,
on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

plato, they say, could stick it away,
half a crate of whiskey every day.

aristotle, aristotle was a b-gg-r for the bottle,
and hobbes was fond of his dram.

and rene descartes was a drunken fart,
“i drink, therefore i am.”

yes, socrates himself is particularly missed,
a lovely little thinker, but a b-gg-r when he’s p-ssed.

- monty python

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