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mc lars & mega ran - bartleby, the scrivener lyrics
intro: bartleby! herman melville! what a winning combo. chyeah!
verse 1: (lars)
one day i placed an ad for a systems engineer
he showed up in a toasters shirt, with airpods in his ears
he was fluent in java, python, php
i told him he was hired, his name bartleby
his workflow was incredible, 10 sessions on his screen
fingers flying i was crying ‘cause i’d built the perfect team
only wish i’d met him earlier, it’s really not that funny
how an office sp-ce in sunnyvale can burn that vc money
i said bartleby, will you do this simple task?
update your ios and see if it will run our app? and he said!
chorus:
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
verse 2: (mega ran)
in the morning mr. turkey’s steady coding like a pro
pumping data, without failure, but starts to slow down later
and nipper’s got a tummy ache from last nights dinner
and starts to get distracted, won’t put down the fidget spinner
so questions arising over cryptic algorithms
to solve the dispute, they seek bartleby’s opinion
we’re setting up ecommerce please input the database
but the office was astonished when they heard bartleby say…
chorus:
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
lars: hey turkey! i know you’re named after a flightless bird, but i heard you’ve been working on your scales
(trombone solo)
can someone please explain why…
verse 3:
lars: bartleby won’t leave his office, starring at the brick wall
twenty-seven empty red bulls on his desk, but that’s not all
mega ran: if he doesn’t leave, we’ll probably have to relocate
he just won’t obey, so he’s got no case
lars: so the cops took him to prison
and san quentin’s where he sat
in a cell in san rafael, i guess he should’ve ran that app
mega ran: a scuffle breaks out in the yard
guards telling him you got to
return to your cell — but he preferred not to
chorus:
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
no! i’d prefer not to
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