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mc hammersmith - massive lad - mic drop monday no.20 lyrics

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[verse 1: mc hammersmith]
massive lad that’s what i am
i’m a bloke_y bloke and a proper man
and a cheeky chap and a player
and completely blind to my toxic behaviour
full strength, super lager
with a tight fit, emotional suit of armour
i’m a legendary monster: chupacabra
on a drunken bender like futurama
getting a kebab, i’m causing a rabble
calling you a p_ssy if you order falafel
steal my chips, get flattened
i had s_x last night and it definitely happened
text from your girl so i hopped in the van
pulled up at her house with my boys and crew
five on her back: zinedine zidane
then your mother walked in and she joined in too
throw fists i do declare
start a punch up in the middle of a brewers fayre
loads of booze i’m breaking knee caps nightly
no tattoos that way the police can’t find me
big night out with the lads on the hunt
back of the bus, only tw_ts at the front
never need to talk, we just clap and we grunt’

banter bad decisions
throw up the gutter while i shout at pigeons
headb_tt gary because he is my pal
apologise then i push him into the c_n_l
can’t phone my ex, can’t seem to cry
can’t see my kids and i want to die
can’t figure out why i’m scared and sad
can’t show i’m vulnerable, lads, lads, lads!

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