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mc burberry - my next guest lyrics

[intro: jeremy kyle]
hi, and welcome to the jeremy kyle show! my next guest is incredibly vile, so please restrain from being abusive or violent. i’d really be grateful if you all remain silent. now, as you know this show is about you, not me, i’m jeremy kyle!

[verse 1: jeremy kyle and mc burberry]
he’s nothing but scum from a council estate
he doesn’t have a job and smokes weed with his mates
he’s known for his songs and defending people verbally
ladies and gentlemen, welcome, mc burberry!
they know who i am, gent, i don’t need an intro!
are you high right now or had a vodka in your vimto?
calm down, d_ckhead, don’t start on me already!
would you watch your language, remember we’re on telly!
now, please could you tell us the use of your marijuana
yeah, i smoke sh_t loads, it just makes me calmer! (watch your language!)
seriously, i can’t help it, instead of calling you a c_nt, would it help if i spelt it?
c_u_n_t
c_u_n_t
i can wait here ’til the studio’s empty!
either way, i’ll get to the bottom of this!
aw, the girl in the third row’s got great tits!
[chorus: mc burberry]
i’m about to go w_nk it off on, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to smash in the face of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to destroy the set of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to kick in the head of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to go w_nk it off on, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to smash in the face of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to destroy the set of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to kick in the head of, jeremy kyle!

[verse 2: jeremy kyle and mc burberry]
you were referred to by an ex partner of yours
well that narrows it down ’cause half of them are wh0res!
your lack of respect for women is evident
my last ex had a baggy f_nny like a [?]!
i won’t tell you again about your cursing and swearing!
well don’t then, d_ckhead, ’cause no one else is caring, squaring up, whilst glaring behind your bodyguards, who don’t even look hard plus they’re mainly made of body parts!
look at you fat f_ck i could easily tw_t ya! (excuse me!)
shut up, jezza, i’ll chuck an envelope at ya!
but it seems you’re in a bit of a tangle, getting gobby at the burberry is gonna be a gamble!
you had trouble with gambling and you still haven’t quit, and yet you criticise your guests to make them look inadequate
oh, you got an addiction, but it’s not all that bad!
you should’ve placed your bets upon losing your ball bag!

[chorus: mc burberry]
i’m about to go w_nk it off on, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to smash in the face of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to destroy the set of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to kick in the head of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to go w_nk it off on, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to smash in the face of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to destroy the set of, jeremy kyle!
i’m about to kick in the head of, jeremy kyle!
[verse 3: jeremy kyle and mc burberry]
according to my sources, you’ve had s_x with your mother
well, that was just a song, but if i did, i would wear a rubber!
well, you said you don’t wear them and songs smell your hands
jeremey, are you a fan boy by any chance?
you claim to have stds, and an erectile dysfunction
i’m not a copper, but do you want to see my trunction?
it’s only a p_ss take, my d_ck gives me wrist ache!
having you on this show as a guest was a mistake!
in your songs, you target goths, emos, and women; and look at you, no remorse, sat there still grinning!
well, my tracks are only parodies, you shouldn’t take them serious!
there’s no need to all get mad at me, infact, get off your period
stop acting delirious!
you pressure pedo looking f_cking specky t_ss_r boyfriend, grey mart, here he is!
the shows near the end, get the lie detector quick!
what we gonna ask it, is jeremy a pr_ck?

[outro: mc burberry]
what a d_ck head!
i feel sorry for his guests though, i mean the only thing worst than their lives are their f_cking t__th!
spark of a spliff, mate!
make sure you put something on the end of it, aw f_ck off!

- mc burberry lyrics

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