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maureen griffin - itty bitty titty committee lyrics
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“itty bitty t-tty committee”
they say when guys are checkin’ out a girl
that b00bs and b-tts they weigh
well, i’m glad that my old man likes tushies;
that’s all i gotta say
’cause i’m streamlined, not weighted down
by footb-lls flippy-floppin’
i don’t even need a sports bra
when on one leg i’m hippy-hoppin’
there’s been lots of funnin’ ’bout my girls
and jokes they are so meager
i’ve been called those names like “flatty matty”
and even “junior leaguer.”
i couldn’t make a living as a pole dancer, not ever
and no, i wouldn’t try it on a bet
’cause if tips are made by the cup size
i would surely starve to death
yeah, they’re itty; they’re bitty; they’re tiny
a beauty queen’s? well, doubtful
but we all know what a waste it is
to have anything more than a mouthful
they’re small, compact, and real pet-te
they’re sometimes hard to see
but they’re full of love, proud members of
the itty bitty bitty committee
when asked how tall i am, i say
“five-two . . . well, in thick socks.”
well, i fill an a the exact same way:
a little argyle rocks
they’re all nat’ral, my own homegrown
every inch . . . well, millimeter
they are balanced and they’re perky
and they don’t make me totter-t–ter
one hundred percent organic
no trans-fat or silent k!llers
all natural with no gmos
or artificial fillers
i wouldn’t change ’em for the world
i’m happy with the ones i got
although they never shake or shimmy
they are perfect just the way they are
they’re the ones the lord done gimme
yeah, they’re itty; they’re bitty; they’re tiny
a beauty queen’s? well, doubtful
but we all know what a waste it is
to have anything more than a mouthful
they’re small, compact, and real pet-te
they’re sometimes hard to see
but they’re full of love, proud members of
the itty bitty bitty committee
i don’t need a bust of plenty
that’s bigger than a house
’cause i never worry when i’m talkin’ to a guy
that he’s starin’ at my blouse
once a saleslady tried to sell me a dress
that needed b00bs. she said, “you
just gotta wear some padding.”
i said, “i already do.”
when it comes to sweater stretchin’-out
i barely smooth the ripples
and when they squeeze ’em ‘tween the mammogram plates
about all they get’s the nipples
yeah, they’re itty; they’re bitty; they’re tiny
a beauty queen’s? well, doubtful
but we all know what a waste it is
to have anything more than a mouthful
they’re small, compact, and real pet-te
they’re sometimes hard to see
but they’re full of love, proud members of
the itty bitty bitty committee
yeah, they’re full of fun, second to none
in the itty bitty bitty committee
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