lordi - scg minus 1: the ruiz ranch massacre lyrics

scg minus 1: the ruiz ranch massacre lyrics
“rolling. speed. okay, you’re in the frame
go ahead and slate it.”

“okay, august 25th, 1995. kermit, texas, interview with mr. rufus ruiz to talk…”

“ain’t no need to be so god d_mn formal. everyone just calls me rufus the redneck, but you can call me rufus.”

“redneck?”

“d_mn straight, and proud of it. born and bread, never get the south out of me, god d_mn it.”

“rufus, your newsletter described some pretty bizarre things going on out in your cornfields. now when did this…?”

“down right infernal, if you ask me. my better half, ethel_ come say hi, ethel.”

“y’all want some iced tea or some fried chicken and hush puppies? i can whip them up for you right fast.”

“woman, scoot.”

“well, no thanks. but anywho, you were saying?”

“tell you what, let’s head on into the shed where we can talk without no one to bother us none. all quietly.”

“do you see that lampshade? i swear that’s made of human skin. looks like a tattoo or something, that one.”

“y’all want some chewing tobacco. here, have some. grow some hair on yoyur b_lls, hehehehe.”
“make sure we get all of this, okay?”

“like i was saying, them things they done come here six times already, down in the south forty, burning bonfires, chanting crazy sh_t about scarctic something or other. and turning my corn. ethel got herself a strong hankering to go down and join with them. i swear she was like under some sort of trance or something like that. acting like she was three sheets to the wind, crazy old woman. acting like jezebell demon voodoo barleycorn bullsh_t
took all my doing make her stay put. i even had my cousin, the right reverend ruiz, he’s kinda famous, you know, trying to exorcise the demons out of ethel. next time i swear i’m gonna take my twelve gauge to him. you’ll see. hold on a minute! sweet meteor sh_t, look at that. them b_st_rds ara back a seventh time

“come on, is the camera rolling? okay, look, make sure get this.”

“i’ll show… ethel, ethel. what they done gone off to. get back in the house. put some d_mn clothes on, woman. you’re naked. no one wants to see that. god d_mn, god d_mn my cousin make me make an honest woman out of you, shoot me in the backside with a god d_mn shotgun. im regret the day i ever made you, woman. god d_mn it. i’ve had about enough of this horsesh_t. gonna the old fashioned redneck way. ya’ll stay here.”

“f_ck, we gotta get this. come on, let’s follow…”

“woo_ooh! don’t mess with texas. i tell y’all imma f_ck this thing with three. hey, give me back my wild animal. ethel, come back here!”

“dude, there must be a hundred people over by that fire. do you see that? what are those big things? are they even human?

“i don’t know.”

“they look like gorillas or… something.”

“let’s make sure we get this, alright? clearly something strange is happening. rufus is, is gonna rip the whole strange, whatever they are. the_ oh, the biggest one looks like its had enough, ooh
rufus is down! the thing just swatted rufus like he was a fly. they see us.”

- lordi lyrics

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