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lil chromozome - where the fuck are my keys lyrics

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[chromozome]
oh my f_cking god! where the f_ck are my keys!? i’ve been looking for them and my car has been going off like non_stop! shut up! alright. i can’t find them on any counters, they’re not in my room, and they’re not in the f_cking living room! so that means only one thing. grandma! where are my keys!?

[grandma]
um… i_ i don’t know sweetie. you might have left them outside. did you check there?

[chromozome]
oh my f_cking god! grandma! if i did not look outside, do you think i’d be asking you right now!? do you have dementia or something!?

[grandma]
hey hey… no need to be rude, i was just giving a recommendation. i have no idea where your keys are. i looked everywhere with you and i just haven’t seen them, i’m sorry

[chromozome]
you’re a lying f_cking f_ggot! you know that grandma!? i can smell the car keys on you
_smells grandma intensely_
oh f_ck. and that perfume too. what is that perfume? it’s getting me a little riled up, not gonna lie. but grandma! if you don’t show me where my car keys are i’m going to beat the ever living sh_t out of you!

[grandma]
i_ i swear i don’t know i promise you. i don’t know where they are

[chromozome]
wait a minute
_intensely sniffs grandma again_

[grandma]
you can’t be touching me on the b_tt
[chromozome]
shut up! you naughty b_tch, you put them in your b_tt didn’t you!?

[grandma]
wha_ no. no i didn’t

[chromozome]
oh yeah you did! and i’m gonna pull them out right now!

[grandma]
_moan_ oh. that felt so good coming out. oh

[chromozome]
oh that was straight fire on the track! and now that i’ve got my keys, i’m gonna get the f_ck in my car, and drive. and k!ll everyone on the road. f_ck you grandma

- lil chromozome lyrics

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