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l.y.e.d (live your every desire) - catharsis lyrics
[verse 1]
since arts and crafts and bringin’ home those sticky notes that got me whipped
because i talked too much in cl-ss, i felt as though i’m meant for this
my father knows and lends support but urges me to hedge my bets
my mother seems less interested its something that she doesn’t get
i’m someone that she never knew a stranger in this home of mine
well, really, its a home of hers, you see i found my home in rhyme
i used to find a home in girls, i used to love too easily
i used to think they made me whole, i used to think they needed me
but now i’m quite convinced that those feelin’s were not reciprocated
f-ck it, forget they’ll regret it once my d-ck is famous
when im on magazine stands, they’ll say “i was so dumb to let him go”
sometimes, on the weekends, i like to get drunk, call em’ up and tell them so
poor ole me, pouring copious amounts
of the same ole drinks that almost took my granny out
i hate being an adult it’s change the way my family acts with me
how can you address attempted suicide so casually
god can i be six again and not know what eviction is
not fear for my own mothers life, play father to my siblin’s
watch brother dig a pit of debt
and poppa offer up his younger years to beer and cigarettes
he’s coughing on the phone again
and saying sorry with no freaking need to
he’s calling all the time but dad i’d rather come and see you
i think it’d do alot of good, really
speaking of fatherhood
i think now lilly would prolly be like five or so
or laykin might’ve lied, who knows
i’ve been closed shut till now, i wrote this letter just to give to ya
so you can see my world, this tapes a bridge to terabithia
i say “i’ll k!ll myself, but i’m a coward when it comes to it
hung out that open window for an hour in a drunken fit
but one day, you know, something cl!cked
i want this more than anything
my only form of sustenance
more fulfilling than any drink
gets me higher than any tree
i remember sitting at kendricks feet
thinking “godd-mn, this is what it looks like to achieve everything you’ve ever dreamed”
swear, one day, i’ll make it there again
but on the other side of the fan and artist relationship
it’s growing deep inside me, insecurities departed
i’ve started something great, i think, and did it through catharsis
[hook]
i said i wouldn’t cry, but sh-t, i might’ve lied, catharsis (whoa-oah)
and i amaze myself, knowing what i might’ve started (whoa-oah)
and i did it through catharsis (whoa-oah)
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