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kur - alone lyrics
[intro one: the education of sonny carson]
‘what they gives you, blood?’
‘three months, man.’
‘whatchu doin in here anyway? you oughta be home with your momma. how old are you boy?’
‘thirteen.’
‘thirteen? d-mn, the b-st-rds must be runnin’ outta n-ggas to arrest.’
[verse one: kur]
check, my life f-cked up
can’t complain a lot of times i done f-cked up
had tough luck, i ain’t have enough love
plenty nights i went to sleep ain’t have enough grub
or i ain’t eat at all
n-ggas couldn’t live my life
nowhere to go, sleeping outside i did that twice
no toilet paper, used socks, did that some nights
what the f-ck did i do make me live so trife
i need heat at night
my stomach growl it wake me up, how i sleep at night
the wet aroma in the air, how i breathe at night
everything that’s in the dark gon see that light
so imma see that light
i wanted to walk just like you
wanted to talk just like you
wanted to smoke wet and dip ports, just like you
heard you f-ckin n-ggas for money, c’mon that’s not you
d-mn, i really hope that that’s not true
i know jamie feel left out too
i gotta be her brother, her father, i gotta step up too
sometimes i rather see you dead, than to see you alive
i hate you, cause most the times you was the reason i cried
most of the times you was the reason that i hated myself
on my own, can’t wait to say i made it myself
when i was down and needed you, you never came to give help
you should be ashamed of yourself
but i ain’t pointing fingers
man what happened to my mom, you like a f-cking stranger
but i still love you more than life, and i can’t f-cking change it
just know i got us, we’ll be good when i get f-cking famous
when i get f-cking famous
it’s like god don’t care
it’s like some nights i can’t call on him
i don’t trust a soul, even my mom called the law on me
told them i was trapping, that’s the night i had jars on me
why you wanna see your only son with a charge on him
[verse two: ?]
dear mom, i used to blame you for the time you missed
but just know i still love you
and dear daddy, for some years you had a n-gga sick
but just know i still love you
cause my struggle only made me stronger
i made it through the abuse, through the tears, through the hunger
i remember nights when i couldn’t sleep
hoping you would finally come around and tell me you could take me home
but that was only but a dream, no reality in sight
a lot of times i wanted to end my life, but i kept the pushing
i was truly just a lost soul
no love, didn’t even have a stable place to call home
when i looked in the mirror i seen a blank face
and in my heart i can really feel it crying
a lot of deep emotion, a lot of things that i was feeling
wondering how the f-ck could you leave your son alone
in these places where these people only cared about a check
and had me eating grease out the bottom of the pan
and them fresh -ss whoopings when you jumping out the tub
you know the one with the baby oil rubbed all on the belt
and i was only five
i used to wish ya would’ve f-cking saved me
would’ve held me tight and raised me like your baby
would’ve been around and watched me grow into a man
but im older now, i’m in the world, and now i understand
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