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kunt and the gang - having a wank in happyland lyrics
in mothercare, they’ve got a brand
of children’s toys called happyland
there’s a happy town and a happy farm
even the happyland emo doesn’t self harm
i often wish that i could go there
and do what makes me happy without a care
so i shut my eyes, and put my knob in my hand
now i’m having a wank in happyland!
i’m having a wank in happyland
and no-one gives a d-mn
if only the real world could be like this
i’d be such a happy man
i’m wanking in the garage
i’m wanking in the baker’s queue
i’m wanking in the post office
and all around the zoo
on the double-decker bus
the people turn to me and smile
to see that i’ve removed my c-ck
and i’m rolling ’round wanking in the aisle
the bus it travels all ’round town
as happyland just p-sses by
i’m wanking into a cigarette packet
and no-one even bats an eye
i’m having a wank in happyland
and no-one gives a d-mn
if only the real world could be like this
i’d be such a happy man
i seagull the mechanic
and he doesn’t give chase
so i stroll down to the old bill station
and wank my c-ck in a policeman’s face
oh look, here comes the vicar now
there’s a wedding at the church
i’m doing what pete townshend did
as he completed his research
i nearly climax on the bride
and the groom just smiles and waves
so i go round behind the church
and start furiously wanking on the happyland graves
i’m having a wank in happyland
and no-one gives a d-mn
if only the real world could be like this
i’d be such a happy man
but sadly real life’s not like that
as i’ve previously suggested
i barely got my c-ck out in basildon town
and promptly got arrested…
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