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konstantinos kourentzes - tarrasque broke my shed (and ate the village) كلمات أغنية

the beast rose from the earth with apocalyptic rage!
three hundred feet of death, unk!llable and caged!
it crushed the temple, flattened every home and hall!
but that motherf_cking monster destroyed my workshop wall!

the village burns in ashes, the people scream and flee_
but in his heart, one dwarf weeps for carpentry_

the tarrasque! the tarrasque!
laid waste to everything i know!
my shed! my beautiful shed!
where my legendary tools were stowed!

f_ck the orphanage! f_ck the grain supply!
my hand_carved workbench made me cry!

oh tragic loss_ of lumber and of nails_
the kingdom falls_ but one dwarf’s hammer wails_

i spent forty years organizing every single screw!
color_coded brackets! alphabetical too!
the clerics scream about the casualties and dead!
i’m screaming louder cause it stepped on my tool shed!

the mayor’s wife was eaten_
the children saw such horror_
but hear this dwarf’s soul beaten_
for his sacred workshop corner_
he built it stone by stone_
with mortise, tenon, care_
now reduced to rubble lone_
his precious planer’s snare_

that shed…
that f_cking shed…
had my father’s lathe in it…
my grandfather’s hand plane!
three generations of accumulated masterwork chisels!

a vintage shadowdeep vise worth 3,000 gold!
my collection of exotic hardwoods from when i was bold!
the mayor can suck it with his “civilian death toll”!
my shed had sentimental value, you bureaucratic assh0l_!

the kingdom mourns a thousand souls today!
(but one dwarf mourns his organized display_)

the tarrasque brought extinction to our door!
(his label maker_ perfectly organized drawer_)

civilization crumbles! hope is lost!
(that shed was worth exactly fourteen thousand, five_hundred_forty_two gold, not counting sentimental cost!)

they’re rebuilding the castle! the marketplace! the temple spire!
but n0body gives a sh_t about my sacred woodworking empire!
let him grieve_ his hammers and his saws_
for every dwarf_ must have his cause_
the world may burn_ in tarrasque flame_
but workshop loss_ brings greater shame_

i had a half_finished rocking chair in there…
it was supposed to be for my daughter’s wedding…
_sob_
f_ck that lizard…

- konstantinos kourentzes

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