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k-deep - my mental trip lyrics
part 1: instrumental: sing about me by kendrick lamar
[intro]
(man) what are some of the triggers that can lead somebody to become an ocd sufferer?
(woman) sure, so, it has two main parts; the o stands for obsessions, and those are thoughts that come into your mind that you don’t want, that are negative. so, they might be thinking that you’re dirty, that you’re contaminated. you might be thinking that somebody in your family is going to die, the really distressing thoughts
(man) hm…
(woman) they’ll cause anxiety, and as a result of that anxiety people develop compulsions, which are sort of habits that they repeat…
[verse]
so my father worked as hard as fuck to further me since birth
i’ve been carved and turned to a heartfelt person
for starters i just can’t help but hurt
when i see people sleep on the streets or even speak on their daily grief
my chief instinct is to leave them seeming a little bit lighter
beam and feel like whenever they’re stuck looking through a peephole
in need and seeking a hand that i’ll be there
but i see clear now that i’m older i sometimes regret
switching my temper and mind so i empathise and let things slide
emerge as the better guy
never once did i ever feel i ever tried my best inside
the effect is i stick to myself but i feel for you if you need me to
don’t stress/ unwind/ do my best to try and protect you but
there’s a second guy with this pen i write
i send all types of devils right to your ears so you hear my messed up mind
(who’s next in line?) i won’t say names/ don’t mention mine
or i won’t stay calm or friendly/ nah i’ll spit in your face
then piss it twice for the second time/ listen fine then i’ll let you slide with rhymes i intend to try distinguish if i’m even special
why? cause i feel like i need that purpose to get through life
and it’d just be perfect settling down with a family
a job and working/ accepting my choices
voice kept quiet and holstered/ noises hoisting me up
provoking a soul blown note unfold in my throat
responding back with a big fat notice board
and holding a sign with two middle fingers shown
no spoken words in total (total…)
‘til every word gets totalled then lays in waste at my vocal’s feet
then dipped in the casket/ close it/ sealed too tight
no chance it could open/ trust, i’m the last to even hope it could
got a big heart/ it’s getting colder still/ my thoughts are overk!ll
when i kick-start it’s hard to control the wheel
hold on tight my oversight just coincides
with the fact that i keep on showing signs of breaking away
i’m just tryna be a good man taking my place in the jak
‘til fate engraves my final day and i fade and they
reminisce over me/ my god…
i can’t even think that far *{gunshots}* hear that?
these thoughts shot down by a brain that’s laced with anxiety
part 2: instrumental: pound cake by drake
so i sit here and it’s silent seeking help but i’m denied it
speak to no one/ keep it quiet
all i need for me to feel some kind of freedom is a fire
deep inside to spark and breathe a brand new life in me
it’s frightening but i persevere/ my personal aversion to this beat
kept me from murking it so let’s be clear
i end up thinking back/ sink right into wintertime
sit in library feeling this and that
so lost and pissed i tried to hit my stride but nothing came
girl troubles/ my world stumbled/ i fixed up then i fell crumbled
like fuck that! i’m in hell stuck here in combat
fight myself in my mental state/ i bust back
‘least i tried to but i fall flat/ tools lack in my tool bag
stay cool act like i’m good/ nah
you see me smile/ meanwhile inside i’m tearing up
scared as fuck i seem like i’m always focussed on the darker side
my heart resides in this abyss but flip the script to mark my rise
i made it out but can’t deny the stress i felt
my fast decline/ she’s p-ssing by the gl-ss at night
before she used to step inside…
now it’s small talk and it’s awkward
and i’m angry but i’m thoughtful at the same time feeling nauseous
‘cause i’m caught up in this bullshit but don’t get me wrong
it’s better now/ i wrote this song to settle down
these bars are my catharsis for the nights i’m feeling troubled
and lethargic like a martian/ an outcast/ i know it’s on
when my pen is out/ off without a second doubt
going in and telling motherfuckers i’ma get ‘em
armageddon now but stop…
i’m trapped within my gl-ss box/ when the alb-m drops
you’ll let me out
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