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julian musay - catching up lyrics
catching up
hey
i know i’m in the wrong
because of me, we can’t even get along
the things that i’ve said
and the things that i’ve done
can’t simply be justified with a song
i wanna say i’m sorry you know
i wanna say goodbye
but because of recent events
i wanna cry
maybe i went overboard
maybe i went too far
and now i realize with my actions i’m burdened with a scar
i treated you like a queen
you’re worshipped like a star
to the lengths that i would travel for you, i would go to mars
i really thought we had something
i thought we would go far
f_cking prove me wrong
it doesn’t feel right
i don’t wanna fight
you’ve been on my mind
all_day and night
my bodys working different
i feel f_cked up in the head
having this overwhelming feeling in my chest, it’s so tight
yo why, you’ve gotta be on my mind
i really wanna love you
i worshiped you like a shrine
i feel like i’m wasting my time, trying to put together a rhyme
but this god d_mn latter breaks every time i try to climb
i’m choking, i’m spinning, it feels like a sign
does this always happen
i feel like a product of design
and i’m caught up and worried
wanting to call you mine
but i need to accept
and try to find
your reason, your pain
so, f_ck my hearts in a race
i don’t want any more sp_ce
i just don’t wanna have to chase
you you you
what could i do for you
my mind is dark, my heart is blue
you’ve got no clue
i’m f_cking lost, in the zoo you get it right
right please no more fights
i’ll raise my flag it’s colors white
there was a time that i almost committed suicide
or took my own life
but that’s selfish
it’s f_cked up
and you know, that it’s not right
i couldn’t see through my tears
i thought that i might
i could have died but i didn’t i said that i would stay committed
i didn’t want to hurt
i didn’t want to bleed
but right now i still can’t properly see
now i’ve got no choice but to conceal
i have to teach myself not to feel it’s so unreal
i feel like, my skin is starting to peel
but i know i’m not allowed to scream or squeal
my thoughts eat me like i’m a meal
and i don’t want your heart
it’s a friendship i wanted to steal
having to write these lyrics feels so surreal
and i can’t trust anything because it’s all bizarre
trying to stack a house of cards
i wanna be hit by a car
but asking for a normal conversation is really going too far
the scar on my heart is the symbol of your mark
your words tear through me, like a f_cking shark
i feel so alone
i feel left in the dark
catching up
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