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jt machinima - now hiring at freddy's lyrics
[intro]
hey there, pal!
looking for work?
but sick of being pushed around by lousy bosses?
how would you like to run and manage your own business?
well, all we need is a little paperwork and your soul
[verse 1]
become a fazbear franchisee, you’re more than family, you’re the star
we’ve got a little fixer upper for you, there’s lots of work here to do, so let’s start!
cut some corners if it makes you a profit, i promise you’re gonna go far
frozen pizza’s the best!
not one ingredient’s fresh!
but just tell the customer they are!
all these animatronics have made us so famous
they’ve got a history, almost all of it’s heinous!
but they make us so much money how could anyone blame us?
salvage all the old ones, shouldn’t be dangerous
i’ve heard a frontal lobe removal’s rather painless,
better that to happen than for us to go bankrupt
and remember if you ever get hurt on the job, unfortunately, corporate cannot cover your loss
[chorus 1]
come on down to freddy’s and we’ll make a tyc–n of you
invest all of your savings cuz you’re gonna double it soon
minimize the casualties and please just don’t get us sued
every shift will be fun, if you get your duties done and clean all the blood off your shoes
[verse 2]
just kidding!
it’s only marinara, you nincomp–p
but, accidents do occasionally happen, here are some precautionary instructions in case of a mishap:
entertainment upgrades have a price
minor injuries are a workplace sacrifice
with the animatronics you always want to play nice
and keep a safe distance, that’s solid advice
oh, children love to play, boy, can they make a mess!
we know how much you’d love to strangle them by their necks
just tell those little brats to give freddy a hug and when it’s done sweep whatever’s left of them under the rug
because a bad reputation cannot be afforded, don’t get rid of the problem just get rid of the corpses
sanitation is of strictly minimal importance and if police are at the door make sure they’ve got proper warrants
ethics and morals are completely subjective!
as long as you prosper you need nothing corrected!
if anything breaks don’t sweat, trainwreck, we’ll just take it out of your next paycheck
[chorus 2]
come on down to freddy’s
you oughta stay for a while
if any children go missing
just don’t let that go on file
don’t get any blood on the carpet it’s easier cleaning the tile and if a kid ends up dead k!ll all the witnesses next and make sure it’s done with a smile
[verse 3]
now what?
you want a raise?
maybe, after another couple days
order more decorations to cover the walls with
and take remaining appendages out of the ball pits
when bodies start rotting you’ll know for sure
take your mind off it with another high score
then we’ll have a performance you and freddy together at this family franchise that’ll go on forever!
[chorus 3]
come on down to freddy’s
we’ll suck the soul out of you!
a workshift can be deadly but we’ll bring you back to life soon
maximize the casualties
at this point we’re gonna get sued
and before you can leave clean all the carpets with bleach
and we’ll make a monster of you
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