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jory canfield - reminiscence lyrics
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 1]
darkness crawled over my shoulders as i stared out the window
heart beating at a perfect tempo
my kinfolk had just left, what did i take?
i’ll ask myself later when i awake
it’s late, so i pop a pill and drop in the bed
as a crazy fever dream goes to rush in my head
liquid lead, drinking poison, spilling red in the void and
feeling nothing as i dream away my dreadful choices
voices screaming at me from heads with red eyes
you’re lying to yourself, shed your tears or just die
i don’t pay them mind, it’s only a dream
but it’s still a little crazy just how vivid it seems
a weight looms over as i fly through the clouds
something’s chained to my leg, it pulls me down
i see the dark ground and i awake in a fright
i’ve become such a mess, what a dreadful night
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 2]
i burst into tears as i awake and realize
what i had just lost, no one’s there to hear my cries
i rise but don’t realize i need to eat
get liquor, pen & notebook, now take a seat
a miraculous feat, to write at this time
i rhyme because i need a solace to find
the void they left in you is hard to fill
but you’ll show them because you’re grinding still
no, i need to stay real, not in some fantasy
where everyone’s happy, and everyone’s free
i need to stay true to me, and the pain that i feel
it’s as if my heart was pierced by a spike of steel
i need time to heal, now i’m defacing myself
they don’t know how i feel, grab a knife from the shelf
scars on my arms dripping blood like rain
somehow it keeps me going, helps erase this pain
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 3]
wait, i realize it’s not my fault, it’s theirs
they’re the ones that left me, i’m the one that cares
it’s not fair, deserted over something i love
i was dedicated, well i guess i needed this shove
cause now i won’t hold back, they were holding me down
i didn’t have time, now in it i drown
they hurt me, so i’ll retaliate in kind
build aggression in words, and display my design
i line the notes, and you’ll find i wrote
at that time it was all just distasteful jokes
that i underline with all i despise
about them. i was abandoned, now i’ll surmise
that they’re horrible, and they ruined my life
they’re the reason that i drink and cut my arms with a knife
now i’m rife with emotion. at my current rate
there’s no limit to this feeling, now i’m rife with hate
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 4]
i guess it’s destiny that led to my demise
destined to be abandoned, destined for that drive
at 1:05 in the morning on the day of my death
i only felt pain, all i did was resent
i didn’t lead a full life, but i wasn’t met to
though i was able to share all the beliefs i kept to
i’d expect to come out these depressing thoughts
and show the world the beauty that i’ve always sought
i fought with my brain, i fought to end pain
i managed to write magic, but thoughts are insane
this game we call life, it’s a beautiful mistress
but one day, you’ll fight, and you end up with your wrists slit
when crimson stains your clothes, you’re done with this curse
at least you’re glad you got to spit one more verse
october 31, now i remember that date
i emptied the bottle, and i sealed my own fate
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 5]
it feels good to wake up and see the sun rise
you find it’s a solace that ends all your cries
so every time you get up and start anew
you take time to think on what it means to you
to me, it means souls, to me it means light
philosophy and thought takes the toll off my life
to my right, i have the dreams that i couldn’t achieve
to my left i have the thoughts i could only believe
so seize the moment, enjoy the calm walk
feel the sun on your skin, enjoy what life brought
your first thought they say, is to display your emotions
though you can always find a light in the darkest oceans
and so sin’s your last thought, it’s time to go down
you may find a light, but you might still drown
i’ve found life is worse than what you put on display
but at the end of every night, there’s a brighter day
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 6]
i guess i remember the good times i had
a happy marriage until it ended so bad
maybe sad, but not horrible, good time in my life
full until death came and gripped me tight
that night was the end, yet i fell in love
i held the pen tight and refused to give up
and so i found light, invested in me
my vision in sight, building my masterpiece
i may have ceased, but i remember happiness
before the death or dejection from abandonment
i was a child once, not thinking ‘bout the world around me
guess that ignorance brought happiness, it came and found me
i guess i now see that my life wasn’t bad
it had a sad ending, but i can’t really be mad
so i have everything now, it’s finally in sight
the ending sucked, but my life was full of delight
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 7]
some say it’s pain, but it’s a beautiful thing
when someone loves you enough, they’re accepting that ring
funny thing, it’s not bad, you just don’t want to give up
it’s a sad stipulation about falling in love
‘cause those five years were the happiest of my life
children running ‘round in love with a beautiful wife
it couldn’t be better, my life felt stable
i was happy, though it’s hard to keep the food on the table
we weren’t able to sustain without k!lling ourselves
i know it’s why we separated, why we fell
away from each other and our loving embrace
we couldn’t raise children like this, we had limited days
when you’d say that you were leaving, i thought it wasn’t fair
i thought you hated me, i spiraled into ceaseless despair
now i know you cared, but i guess that you had enough
i understand now, thanks for giving me love
[hook]
there was pain, there was delight
there was day, and there was night
there was love, and there was hate
there was hope, and there was fate
[verse 8]
you thought it was over, but it just began
your true story started when you entered this land
broken down to sand, but i guess you still got up
it seems impossible that you’d have this kind of luck
you were stuck in the bottle, then stuck in those chains
you were stuck in your thoughts, then remembered your brain
your memories remained there, ingrained in your soul
you forget them for a while. now they made you whole
it may have took a toll, but now i know myself
the wealth in my mind began to excel
and expand on all my living thoughts and beliefs
now in death it seems that there’s a level i’ve reached
where i can’t feel pain ‘cause i’m oblivious to it
went through it all, now feel i feel i found the answers through it
i never knew it, but i’m climbing up a narrow slope
but now inside me, i see infinite hope
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