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john anthony (rap) - coming home lyrics
yeah
it’s been a long ride
i feel like i had to go through so much
just to get where i’m at
still a lot of things you need to know, though
just need to find the right words for it
yeah
i never seen this type of sh_t before
never thought i’d have to go through this just to make it far
so many problems, it’s like i knew the second i start
to give attention to it, i would get chewed up apart
sooner or later, i try forget the sh_t i caused
but you ain’t stupid, you caught that sh_t that i threw you for
no matter what i would say, it felt like there was a cost
another mistake and that spotlight gon’ be turnin’ off
but see it’s hard to try and juggle being who you are
along with this gimmick, that really doesn’t get you far
you either label me rude and moody and sue me for it
or ride my ass and hope that my success would then yours
who would’a knew i’d ever be good enough to be flawed
never wanted to be that someone you can pick apart
promises never promised, i feel like i’m gettin’ caught
between being who i wanna be and just being loved
now i’m just being judged ’cause
see, through the days and the nights, i be taking these fights
i don’t really wanna do it this way
but i can’t say goodbye, this remains in my life
and i just don’t want it to stay
from the days i was coming up
it’s not the same that it ever was
so i’m coming home tonight
come to think, i ain’t never glorify where i’m rooted
never claimed to have it all, though you probably assume it
hear the sh_t that i’m spewin’ right through these rhymes in my music
then you wonder why people say that i’m violent and crude
and though i just try to be doing the best that i can be doing
always something that ruins it and it’s blinding me through it
why do i gotta be bruised and falsely accused?
when all i’m doing is using music to bottle me through this
ain’t no telling how far you would go when somebody would talk sh_t
all it took was bad history with some kid and i lost it
said i’d k!ll ’em on the track, then i found out he lost his life
and now i like, was the final line and i crossed it?
sometimes it’s kinda hard ’cause i feel like i caused it
wasn’t tryna start sh_t, but we all deal with our problems in a different way
i apologize to his family, i didn’t mean to say
that crazy line that i said in break
but it’s, sad that it gets to me
all this sh_t i said, i get roasted like i’m rotisserie
tell me why i’m so different, jeez
all i try to be is myself and dive in my history
i thought i briefly told my misery in my song meant to be
but then it seems, if i don’t diss or make hits and anthem’s
you won’t even listen to sh_t like this i try to hand ya
it’s not that i don’t plan to, make my fans happy
i need y’all to understand the, path that i have went though
see, through the days and the nights, i be taking these fights
i don’t really wanna do it this way
but i can’t say goodbye, this remains in my life
and i just don’t want it to stay
from the days i was coming up
it’s not the same that it ever was
so i’m coming home tonight
now see, i’m not tryna do this for entertainment
even though that is what i do, this is different, can you picture this painting?
i might call myself the villain, but that sh_t that doesn’t mean
i like to be targeted everyday over sh_t that i’m sayin’
ninety percent of you critiquin’ me are blatantly hatin’
the other ten percent just doesn’t understand what i’m facin’
ever since therapy, i should’a cleared up the rumors
i rather make another my brain than another abuser
and the sooner i get this sh_t right off my chest
is the sooner i can confess to myself, that it’s okay if i was depressed
i was just afraid to say it ’cause i know with this sh_t, i have to tough
and i didn’t want no one to think of me less
but then it hit me after so many related to beautiful
how i wrote that song for me, but people’s feelings we’re mutual
it was suitable for both of us, openness is all i can give you now
i ain’t never shallowin’ down, i told you this
if i have so many problems at this point in my career
imagine what i’d have to deal with it if my sh_t was up to here
all i’ve ever wanted was something i can be proud of
i’m muting all this hate and i’m never turnin’ the sound up
and if i gotta keep climbing right up this mountain
i promise i’ll never stop, to the top is my final outcome
a thousand pounds on my shoulders wouldn’t keep me down
’cause i’ma soldier, and i’ll just keep my feet right on the ground because
see, through the days and the nights, i be taking these fights
i don’t really wanna do it this way
but i can’t say goodbye, this remains in my life
and i just don’t want it to stay
from the days i was coming up
it’s not the same that it ever was
so i’m coming home tonight
so there it is
i did everything i could, man
sorry if i let anyone down
wasn’t my intention
but i’m not sayin’ i’m finished though
just gotta figure some sh_t out
so until then
i’ll see ya’ll around
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