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joe aufricht - side a (perversion) كلمات أغنية

_tape is meant for entertainment purposes only, to satisfy emotional and s_xual fantasies. any attempt to act as i do on this tape in public may be dangerous and neither i or the order of dionysus/sabazios can be held responsible. our sick prudish puritan society which tries to limit s_xual expression such as perversion and inter_generational love, such as between teenagers and adults, is just not ready for a tape like this. this is 1995 christian era, 30th year annos satanos by the church of satan time table. as i said, it may bе dangerous to act as i’m about to on this tape, particularly at parties whеre alcohol and drugs are consumed, especially if those people doing such were abused as kids, s_xually, if not physically, or perhaps both. but if anyone uses their hard f_cking life of s_xual and/or physical abuse as an excuse to be an assh0l_, and try to censor verbal expression and acting out of s_xual fantasies, they deserve just one f_ckin’ thing:
to lie down, and be abused a thousand f_ckin’ times more. for what the h_ll, they’re used to it anyway. f_ck them and their hard f_ckin’ life. and if anyone gets p_ssed at what i’m saying here or the way i act on this tape, i really don’t f_ckin’ care, although in a way i do because this is the way the world should be

because i’m a s_d_stic pervert
n0body messes with a s_d_stic pervert

[rapist noises]
_whistles_
those are my rapist noises
you see it sounds like i’m just whistling a tuneless whistle
but the: _whistles_
really means: _wet noises_
that’s the sound of the sperm coming out when a guy’s raping a chick

[h_rny with a chick]
now, you’re gonna be subjected to a song that i made up:
h_rny with a chick
h_rny with a chick
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with a chick
i’m too sick
to a get a h_rny with a chick
h_rny with a chick
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with a chick
h_rny with two chicks
h_rny with two chicks
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with two chicks
i’m too sick
to a get a h_rny with two chicks
h_rny with two chicks
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with two chicks

h_rny when the chick walks by
h_rny when the chick walks by
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny when the chick walks by

h_rny in your socks
h_rny in your socks
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny in your socks
i am a too shocked
to a be a h_rny in my socks
h_rny in my socks
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny in my socks

i’m gonna force you into bed with me
ha ha ha ha ha!
h_rny with two dyk_s
h_rny with two dyk_s
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with two dyk_s
i’m too spite
to a get a h_rny with two dyk_s
h_rny with two dyk_s
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with two dyk_s

h_rny with two punk chicks
h_rny with two punk chicks
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with two punk chicks

h_rny with a pregnant chick on roller skates
h_rny with a pregnant chick on roller skates
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny with a pregnant chick on roller skates

how do you get h_rny in your socks? you wonder
well maybe i’ll just have to demonstrate to all of you someday
see this one time i had an itch in my foot inside my socks
and that’s how i came up with the idea of h_rny in your socks

i eat lots of h_rny with a chick food
it gives me energy to get h_rny with a chick on
always be careful what you drink and how you mix your drinks
because if you’re not careful you’ll throw up all of your h_rny with a chick food
and then you won’t have energy to get h_rny with a chick on
[ej_cul_te in your moon pants]
here’s the moon pants song:
moony moony moon pants
ej_cul_te in your moon pants
(that didn’t come out right)
moony moony moon pants
ej_cul_te in your moon pants
what are moon pants?
pants like the astronauts wore to the moon

[up against the underwear syndrome]
now it’s time for a little commercial:
do you suffer from the “up against the underwear” syndrome? you know where after an ej_cul_tion your c_ck or your flesh sticks to your underwear? well get acme anti_stick and you won’t suffer from up_against_the_underwear syndrome anymore
up against the underwear _cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck_
up against the underwear _cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck_
up against the underwear _cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck_
that by the way was not a real commercial. that was a satire

[my hand up her mini_skirt without consent]
back in the late 60s when i was still a kid, there was this commercial on for benson and hedges cigarettes. and um on the back of a magazine there was a picture of a man with a woman in a long dress — although i wish she was in a mini_skirt — but she was in a long white dress, and they were sitting there looking at each other all happy and sh_t. and uh, it really made me very h_rny it made my d_ck get hard, and.. whenever i heard this one song that went with the commercial on the radio or the tv, it made me think of a guy running his hand up her miniskirt without his permission to do so
so i’m gonna play that song right now and sing along with it:

run my hand up her mini_skirt
without her permission to do so
na na na na na na
(na na na na na)
run my hand up her mini_skirt
na na na na na na
run my hand up her mini_skirt
without her permission to do so_o
na na na na na na
run my hand up her mini_skirt
na na na na na na na na
wow wow wow wow wow wow

(ooh i think he’s getting off on it)
ha ha ha ha

run my hand up her mini_skirt
na na na na na na
way out in the woods
run my hand up her mini_skirt
run my hand up her mini_skirt
na na na na na na
that’s a group called the brass ring with the disadvantages of you. you may remember i don’t think you had to take a kevin trudeau memory course to remember that was the theme for a set of benson and hedges commercials back in the late 60s

i wanna hear some pervert music!
i have two favorite words: h_rny and _rg_sm
chick chick chee_ick chee_ick chick chick chee_ick_ah
chick chick chee_ick chee_ick chick chick chee_ick_ah
chick chick chee_ick chee_ick chick chick chee_ick_ah
well what’s wrong with saying “chick chick chick chick”?

now here’s the cl_t tip song:
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your tip
i wanna see you m_st_rbate upon your little cl_t
(sometimes when i try to sing it fast it comes out all mixed up:)
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your cl_t
i wanna see you m_st_rbate upon your little tip
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your cl_t
i wanna see you m_st_rbate upon your little tip
i wanna see your underwear
wanna see your cl_t
i wanna see you m_st_rbate
upon your little tip
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your tip
(that’s the way it should go)
i wanna see you m_st_rbate upon your little cl_t

i was h_rny up against a chick when i went to see ozzy osbourne. nah i’m just kidding. but i was h_rny up against a chick when i went to see a punk rock band called the accüsed. i positioned myself in a big crowd up against her, got close to where she was, positioned my leg up against hers. she turned around and looked at me once but didn’t really pay attention or think it was much of anything, but then i went and told a couple guys that knew who she was i was h_rny up against her, and it must have gotten back to her because one day when i was walking around at the mall, she gave ma funny look

h_rny with two smother_me chicks
(what’s a smother_me chick?)
they smother my d_ck with p_ssy juices when i fouck em

i’m a squeaky voice pervert!

dang me, dang me
they ought to take a rope and hang me
high from the highest tree
woman would you wait for me
boo boo boo boo boo goo goo goo dee doo
goo goo goo goo goo goo
and i was strumming the air guitar by strumming my c_ck as i did that

people should fear me
because:
i got a big c_ck

ooh deng_eh me
deng_eh me
they ought to take a rope and heng_eh me
high from the highest tree
woman won’t you wait for me
boo boo boo boo boo goo goo goo
goo goo doo goo goo

oh don’t fall off the garage roof and get k!lled, honey!
i won’t have anyone to get a hard_on over!

hadinger halee oo noo oo noof
hadinger halee oo [?] ooh ooh
[?] [?] ooh noo noo [?]
[?] ooh ooh
and up [?] stuck and boowee bee nee na
[?] in [?]
up and up and boowee benina
you are the prettiest gooey denina

oh the moon shines tonight on pretty coosper
on pretty coosper
on pretty coosper
oh the moon shines tonight on pretty coosper
when the [tadpoles?] go marching on
da da da da da

[kindergarten _rg_sm dance song]
this next one is called the kingergarten _rg_sm dance:
in the kindergarten i had _rg_sms
back in the kinder i had _rg_sms
kinderee in the kinderee
back in the kinder i had _rg_sms
_whistles_
_whistles_

wanna hear an imitation of a chick p_ssing herself?
ooh my underwear
ooh my underwear
ooh my dree_ess
ooh my dree_ess

back when i was in elementary school, i really hated it when girls wore dresses because: it would expose their s_xy legs, and i would get so f_cking h_rny i couldn’t concentrate on my school work. so i made up this little chant back then that i would always do under my br_ under my beath:
they wear dresses
stupid dresses
why did they wear stupid dresses
sometimes i would disguise it in code form, instead of saying “dresses” i would say “ah_ho_dees”:
they wear ah_ho_dees
stupid ah_ho_dees
why did they wear stupoid ah_ho_dees

deedleedleedleedle
in the johnnys
do you know what i mean by the johnnys?
the underwear
maybe i should say about [stage door?] johnnys
deedleedleedle deedle
in the johhnys
deedleedleedle deedle
in your johnnys
deedleedleedle deedle
in your underwear
in your wear
in your wear
in your little underwear

i’d love to be able to go to a party where i can yell out:
i wanna hear some pervert music!

see what i mean by pervert music:
it doesn’t have to be overtly pervert music. but, it does have to for no particular reason, psych you up to wanna do s_xually perverted things to women and/or girls. like that song by the monkeys, i saw her face now i’m a believer. when i hear the beginning of it, it uh psychs me up to wanna do kinky s_xual things

i remember one day in the car when i was not even in kindergarten yet. or maybe i was in kindergarten i don’t remember. but, i was riding along with my mom i was sitting in the passenger seat, and she looked over at me and gave me a funny look. not a mean look, but um, i don’t know how to describe it but uh, it was because i was touching my d_ck, and holding it. she said, uh, she told me: mothers and fathers don’t hold their d_cks. well she didn’t use the term “d_ck” because: she was a prude back then. she used “tooker” or “tuchs”. she said mothers and fathers don’t hold their tuchs. well i’ve got a song in dedication to that:
mothers and fathers_
(yeah i know, mothers don’t have d_cks, but what the h_ll)
mothers and fathers don’t hol_d their d_ck_s
mothers and fathers don’t hol_d their d_ck_s
mothers and fathers don’t hol_d their d_ck_s
i could go on doing that all f_ckin’ night

[how dare you song]
i almost forgot, here’s the how dare you song:
how dare you, you made me
ej_cul_te in my pants
for i, was only
in junior high school
i was too young to fall in love
and have s_x

here’s an imitation of an angry transvestite:
how dare you, you made me
ej_cul_te in my skirt
for i, was only
in junior high school
i was too young to fall in love
and have s_x

oh my bees dees des
oh my bees dees des
_panting_
_panting_
oh my dress oh my dress
oh you took away my dress
(that’s a imitation of an angry transvestite also. a different variation.)

whenever i heard david bowie’s song fame and that one part
where he goes:
fame what you like is in the know
i always thought he was saying:
dre_hee, what you get is no tomorrow
whenever i heard that i always thought it sounded like a baby in a wet diaper

[unintelligible]
dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee
that’s supposed to be an imitation of a young girl who has to go to the bathroom really bad and she’s looking up the stairs toward the bathroom and freaking out thinking she’s not gonna make it in time:
gotta hurry uppa da
doh_sa uppa da
uppa uppa uppa da

some people who have heard me act this way, this one guy asked me if i sit around and spank my monkey as i do this. hey, when i’m spanking my monkey i’m laying down on the floor pressing it against the floor, hehehehe, concentrating. i don’t need to be making those noises as i do it. i make different noises. like when i have the _rg_sm

ooh it feels pleasant
ooh it feels pleasant

or: if i’m getting.. if i’m getting an _rg_sm thinking about pleasure though pain
i’m chanting “it doesn’t feel pleasant, but really it doesn’t” as i’m getting off i’m saying:
it doesn’t feel pleasant
doesn’t feel pleasant

you know what i call teenage girls? little squirty honeys. and when they say: but my name isn’t honey, or: oh don’t call me that, i don’t like it. i say well i don’t care your name is honey. squirty means squirt as in you’re a little squirter hey you little squirt. i suppose it could also mean if i wanted it to: they squirt out all their openings
_beatboxing_

why don’t they call it pant instead of pants? it’s only a single piece of material:
h_rny in the pant:
h_rny in the pant
h_rny in the pant
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny in the pant
(sometimes i call it the cants:)
h_rny in the can’t
h_rny in the can’t
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny in the can’t

i just can’t cause i’m h_rny in my pant
h_rny in my pant
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny in the pant

how about h_rny in the pee_ant
h_rny in the kee_ants

i don’t wanna look her
a doggy stook her

this one guy i knew, he asked me to sing the kindergarten _rg_sm dance song for him when we were talking on the phone and i went:
in the kindergarten i had _rg_sms
back in the kinder i had _rg_sms
kinderee in the kinderee
back in the kinder i had _rg_sms
_whistles_

he said well i gotta go now joe, i’ll see you later kinder. no he just he didn’t say joe he said: i gotta go now, see you later kinder

h_rny up against a chick
h_rny up against a chick

h_rny with a hundred chicks
in their mouths i stuck my d_ck
that’s the only way of getting off
when your h_rny with a hundred chicks

this one guy i knew tried to imitate me saying “chick chick chick chick”
he goes:
tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick
tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick
he also made a joke about me singing the kindergarten _rg_sm dance. he said: f_ck me in my kinder. and he made a joke about me saying pee_ant. he said he called it piano and then he said piano pants. and then he said: stop p_ssing in my piano
ha ha ha ha _snort_
well hey
all perverts laugh through their nose
oh for christ’s sake!
all perverts laugh through their nose
_snort_

[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
fat perverted rebels launching away
they’re jumping off a catapult at twelve o’clock midnight
with parachutes attached to their c_cks

see when you sing h_rny with a chick, you’re supposed to stand next to a chick and sing h_rny with a chick, and shake your body and forth. and if the chick moves away because she’s a virgin and you_ thinks that you’re gonna rape her, then you just follow her around and when she moves to her next spot, you move over there, shake your body around, and sing h_rny near a chick. h_rny near a chick. and when she moves again you move _again_ and you keep following her

number two
number two
stuck in the mud and i lost my shoe
with a rum tum tiddle dum
[oh john diddle dum?]
[hey with mary hooked on you?]

bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em, bite em and chew em
bite em, bite em and chew em
bite em, bite em and chew em
and e_e_e_eat em all up
olè!

_beatboxing_

some of the things i do in this tape you may have no clue what it has to do, what connection it has with s_xual perversion. only i know that, because: only i know what it makes me feel like

[fat perverts forcing short skinny chicks into bed with them]
i’m going to force you into bed with me
ha ha ha ha ha

i said that once in the car, in my car when i was driving, and i had three male friends and one of their um female or girlfriends. female friends or maybe it was his close girlfriend i’m not sure. but they got p_ssed and started throwing sh_t out of my car. now that’s not the way they should have reacted. i expect social respect and acceptance even when i do that. in fact when i did that people should fear me for that

towards the end of the 7th grade, i was crawling under the table looking up girls’ dresses or simply bending down from my chair looking up girls’ dresses and they would have to pull their legs together saying joe! and finally the teacher caught on. and he took me out in the hall and lectured me, told me that if i didn’t stop, that he was gonna have to take me down to the office and get me some detentions
and i said to him: but mr. weilon, i was only looking! and he said: so what are you looking at, underwear?

someone once said over the phone to me, that knew about me, said to me: joe, why are you so obsessed with women’s underpants?

dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey
dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey
dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey

this one time i was in a restaurant with a guy who was 19, another one who was about 23, i was 28 at the time, and two teenage girls, both about 16 years old. okay, um, the one guy i was with, he was kind of a big dude he weight 250 pounds the other one was real skinny. but this is what i said to all four of them, do_ out of the blue, i said to them: do you know you’re all very dear to my c_ck? and the one 16_year_old girl looked at me funny and she’s like: you are bizarre! one time i chanted how dare you you made me ej_cul_te in my pants thing, and she said to me: i’m telling you, joe, you are a very frightening person

h_rny on a chick:
h_rny on a chick
h_rny on a chick
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny on a chick

a_h_rny with six sick chick chick_ah
that’s h_rny with six sick chicks. actually it was originally supposed to be h_rny with six hundred and sixty_six chicks, but somebody heart it wrong and though i was saying h_rny with six sick chicks, so i figured it’s pretty funny to say h_rny with six sick chicks:
h_rny with six sick chicks_ah
h_rny with six sick chick chick_ah
h_rny h_rny a_h_rny h_rn
a_h_rny with six sick chick chick_ah

i saw six sick chicks once walking all together. on a sidewalk side by side. this one time when i was 16 i saw this chick coming home from school. i saw her in her flaming red pants and i nearly went crazy
i saw her in her flaming red pants
and i nearly went crazy

once upon a time there was this whale
he started out real small
and then he started eating
and he grew and he grew and he grew
bigger and bigger and bigger
til he no longer existed

yeah, did you ever ej_cul_te in your moon pants?
what are moon pants?
pants like the astronauts wore to the moon

h_rny in my underwear
h_rny in my underwear
h_rny h_rny h_rny h_rn
h_rny in my underwear

this is what i used to do out in my car window to chicks:
_catcall whistle_
or:
oh baby! oh, babe! i love those legs!
what i hate about the older women is they never turn around and look when you whistle _whistle_ or go “oh!” at them. oh! oh, baby! sometimes i’d also say after “oh, babe!” i’d say: i want you baby. one time i said to some chicks and they said: f_ck you. another time, another chick said: f_ck you, assh0l_

h_rny in the vicinity of a chick

[unintelligible] ([to the tune of yankee doodle])
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]

[unintelligible] ([to a different tune])
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]

don’t crumple my man papers
man papers?

this one time in the 9th grade i was going around telling people that i was gonna rape this one girl, and, uh, one day in the hallway, she came up to me and said hey joe why don’t you just leave me alone and i said, what are you talking about? and she said: what do you think i’m talking about, joe? you pervert!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
_whistles_ _smack_
everybody feeled uncomfortable
everybody feeled uncomfortable
_whistles_ _smack_
i’m singing about ej_cul_ting in the pant
_whistles_
that’s the part of the ej_cul_tion, the sperm squirting out in your pants
_smack_
is the sound of the_ of your c_ck sticking to your underwear suddenly
and then:
everybody feeled uncomfortable
everybody feeled uncomfortable

now how about a little dedication to a broad that’s in a bar, and has had so much to drink, she doesn’t make it to the bathroom in time:
liquor uncomfortable
tavern tavern liquor beer _cl!cks_
tavern tavern tavern p_ss _cl!cks_
tavern tavern liquor p_ss _cl!cks_
tavern tavern liquor p_ss _cl!cks_

you wanna hear a pervert story?
how about some pervert jokes?
how about some pervert poetry?
if you give me a pencil and paper
i’ll make some hand_drawn, home_made
pervert pictures:
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
bum bum bum bum bum
brrrrum bum bum bum bum bum bum

i used to prank, when i was 17, i’m sure if you’ve heard my evil phone prankster audio tape, you heard it talked about in there how when i was 17 i’d call up a 13_year_old girl’s mom and said to her:
i’m gonna rape your daughter
i’m gonna rape your daughter
and i’d say:
this is the prrrrranksta!
the prrrrrrrrrrrrranksta!
imaging being a fat perverted prankster
a bearded fat perverted prankster
yeah, the bearded prankster, going:
the prrrrrrrrrrrrranksta!
this is the prrrrrranksta!

i’d love to be really big and ugly, like grossberger in the movie stir crazy
and come up to short skinny chicks and say:
i’m gonna force you into bed with me
ha ha ha ha ha
see, the, uh, smaller they are, the more they’ll be terrified, and, and them being terrified would get my d_ck hard, it would turn me on

my mom caught me with some pervert pictures once. well actually they weren’t p_rno pictures, it was just drawings i made, with guys saying stuff like i’m a fat s_d_stic pervert. i’m going on a surfin’ safari. there was a short skinny chick i forced her into bed with me. and then i drew a picture of a guy, 7’6″ weighing 600 pounds, and he was saying how he forced short skinny chicks into bed with him. and then i put a big arrow to both of them and it said: n0body messes with these guys. and then she asked me what’s this and she got all concerned and worried about me. and uh, i explained to her, um, when i_ mom when i grow up i wanna be a fat s_d_stic pervert. and she’s like well why do you wanna be a fat s_d_stic pervert, and i started laughing, and she’s like don’t laugh or i’ll give you a smack, and i explained how i wanted to, uh, urinate on prostitutes and she asked why, and i said oh, to make myself h_rny, and she’s like oh you’re_ you treat people like sticks. they’re just there for your pleasure, you’re gonna be h_rn_ you’re gonna do that, just so you can be h_rny, you’re gonna be h_rny and have your fun. _exhales_ and uh, and eventually she told me you better not draw any more of those pervert pictures. but then a while after that i said: i feel like drawing some pervert_ some more pervert pictures, and she’s like: what are pervert pictures?

oh i almost forgot: well i was talking about these, um, these chicks who were sisters and some guy was talking about how they sunbathed in their back yard, and some other guy said: hmm weird chicks. i said to my mom: but they’re weird chicks and they deserve to be raped. and she’s like, uh, well, sunbathing in the backyard doesn’t mean they’re weird chicks and it doesn’t matter if they are weird chicks and i said but they’re burnouts and she said it doesn’t matter if they’re burnouts

here’s an imitation of me picking somebody up off the ground against her wishes:
ooagh!
someone in
in a delaniedee
someone in
actually that’s a tribute to me picking somebody up off the ground:
someone in
in the deleedleanee
someone in
in a dideedlenee
someone in
i’m singing someone in the delanies. there was this girl whose last name was delanie
and i grew up with her brother in first grade to about sixth grade, and i always had this thing where i just wanted to pick his youngest sister off the ground against her wishes just to make her miserable so she’d throw a temper tantrum
and i’m singing:
someone in the delanies, the deleedleanies
someone in the deleedlenanies
someone in
in the dileedleanies

but i’m trying to be the class clown!
see back in the 6th grade i was trying to be the class clown, so i could make all the chickies laugh real hard and mess their pants so i could get an _rg_sm from it and go m_st_rbate. and as i made them start laughing as they were laughing i’d be chanting:
going in the pant
going in the pant
going going going going
going in the can’t
h_rny in the can’t
h_rny in the can’t
going going going going
going in the can’t
i imagine myself being back there in the 6th grade with a big mean ugly perverted monster, one who’s big ugly and perverted but he gets his s_x when he wants it
ha ha ha ha ha!
your bodies are no longer sacred, ladies, heh heh

too bad this isn’t a video tape this is only an audio tape, because i could show you stuff like, um imitations: an imitation of a pervert eating mints: he’s trying to get ’em down his throat, but his throat is infected with, uh, with the aids virus. or how about an imitation of a pervert, running through the_ a fat s_d_stic pervert, running throught the forest in a zig_zag motion. how do i know he’s a pervert somebody asked. well, because he’s, uh, he’s running through the forest in a zig_zag motion, chasing a short skinny chick, with the sole purpose of raping her

bunny rabbits
bunny rabbits
(raping the bunny rabbits)
you know what bunny rabbits i’m talking about?
the playboy bunny rabbits
bunny rabbits
bunny rabbits
_wet noises_
that’s the sperm coming out when a guy’s raping a cheiack
_wet noises_

chick chick chee_ick chee_ick chick_a chick_a chee_ick chick_ah
chick chick chee_ick chee_ick chick_a chick_a chee_ick chick_ah
what’s wrong with saying “chick chick chick chick”?

well, how about joining the pervert’s christmas club? you know, they should invent a thing called the pervert’s christmas club. all banks have regular christmas clubs or used to
where you save up a certain amount of money in a christmas club account so you can buy gifts for people at the end of the year. well they should form a pervert’s christmas club where you save up. and all the money that say save is used to buy pervert stuff. stuff from the p_rno store. you know, like d_ld_s and vibrators and p_rnographic literature

anyway, this is the end of the “perversion” side
the next side is the “mockery” side
where i make fun of people who deserve to be made fun of
so enjoy
and stay h_rny!

- joe aufricht

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