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jewlz - 4 the pain كلمات الأغنية

i think i finally figured out why i can’t love you more /
& you wonder why the f-ck i can’t show you more /
well best believe i always tried to, when i first liked you /
i still remember when i told you i would never lie to you /
& back then when i said it, it was the first lie /
& it would actually prove to be the worst lie /
i tried to hold it but the pain was irreversible /
i tried to be your best but i ended being the worse for you /
every single lie that i told i now regret /
the moments we were smiling i’ll never ever forget /
but there’s a couple things that i need to get off my chest /
i guess, this is my way of making my wrongs correct /
2 months in we struggled to even see each other /
so we would talk & eventually show we need each other /
& you would tell me bout a n-gga who would hit you up /
& try to say that you & him are destined just to be together /
a little later the weekend before valentine /
there was a misunderstanding i wish i cold go back in time /
cause i was beefing wit vanity & you knew this /
i didn’t want you near him i knew that you weren’t clueless /
but to hear you were wit him i felt betrayed /
everything i told you i felt like i didn’t say /
so i was spazzing out thinking that if i really went with you /
that you was tryna set me up & i was getting played /
that entire weekend i deaded you /
remember what i said to you? i told you i don’t ever wanna get with you /
again, & you know exactly on what i mean /
cause then i found a friend, & her name was arein /
she was the little sister that i never got to have /
so how the f-ck could you blame me cause i was gettin’ attached? /
lost my best friend, yeah enma left a while ago /
but i didn’t accept it so f-ck it i guess that i should know /
that even though arein was the sister i never had /
you were the best girlfriend that i could possibly have /
people started asking us questions like what happened /
heard that you were dating that one boy that be rappin’ /
heard that he accused you & he said that you had lied to him /
a shame, he should have know that you would always ride for him /
i didn’t give a f-ck bout what they said of me /
i knew that i was wrong i only cared of you forgiving me /
then randomly these internet stalkers would try to bother us /
they said they were arein’s friends sent to try & bother us /
it worked, cause we gave ’em attention that they ain’t deserve /
we finally worked it out but they had gotten worse /
threats in our emails to try to get you jumped /
we knew that sh-t was fake so we didn’t give a f-ck /
but it was every day they would bother us & i knew that /
we’d never get the answer to our question, “who’s that?” /
graduated high school & tried to never look back /
but it didn’t even work /
cause when we hit our summer vacation we had a problem /
& we finally worked it out, but it took a turn for the worse /
i was supposed to see you but i couldn’t cause your step-dad /
i took it out on you i shouldn’t but i got mad /
i said f-ck it i ain’t gonna worry ’bout it /
i’ll just talk to you tomorrow cause we fighting & it’s sad /
a couple hours later you text me about that one dude /
you said he kissed you & i got tight /
but nothin’ can compare to how i f-cking felt /
when my n-gga told me everything that happened that same night /
he stopped by just so he could say hi /
& you tried to tell him bye, but he just wouldn’t oblige /
he said it took him 30 minutes just so he could arrive /
he was walking, this n-gga didn’t even wanna drive /
he took ya phone & he tried to keep it away from you /
& he forced you to ya room /
& you were all alone with n0body else at the home /
& this n-gga got a plot & you were set up for ya doom /
he grabbed you by the arms & he slammed you to the bed /
the force was so strong that it hurt you in the head /
& you remember all the little words that he said /
like “melissa you should really be dating me instead” /
his d-ck was now inside you, i know you cried, too /
you couldn’t move & this n-gga tried to ride you /
he got up & he dipped, he made a smirk wit his lip /
that’s how i see it when i picture this sh-t /
his name was abner, he went to liberty with all of us /
he’s an evil mother f-cker & now i’m in disgust /
eyes full of tears & a heart full of hate /
cause how the f-ck would you react hearing your girl was just raped? /
i was gonna k!ll him but you told me you ain’t want me to /
so i was here like what the f-ck do you want me to do? /
look in the mirror i suddenly start to hate sh-t /
can’t believe an old friend turned into a rapist /
it took forever for you & me to get over it /
but we got over sh-t, & we was closer, it /
really hurt us but helped us out in the long run /
but i still see his evil grin when i’m on one /
then we was fine but the stalkers wouldn’t leave /
it started getting scary cause they learned everything /
they knew about the summer & they where we would be /
& they watched our every move, it was me that they would see /
then i met a chick that was a fan of mine /
man i wish i could rewind back the hands of time /
point blank i had cheated & i regret it bad /
i lost your trust & i’ll never get it back /
cutting people from ya life can really hurt ya health /
but what’s worse? cutting people or cutting yourself? /
& here’s something that my fans don’t know /
i have stalkers, & they don’t plan to leave me alone /
so this is my apology, i don’t expect sh-t /
i’m a f-ck up.. & i accept it /
it doesn’t matter cause forever i’mma hold the pain /
it doesn’t even matter if i overdose on novacane /

- jewlz

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