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jeremy jordan - four downs to the ten-yard line lyrics
[brom]
what do yo mean you don’t get how it’s played? i mean just cause you’re a h0m_ doesn’t mean you can’t watch football. i mean, you’re still a dude right?
[ichabod]
i guess
[brom]
i mean whoever said football is for beer_guzzling troglodytes and trailer parks? we scholars of the academe can enjoy it on a whole other level. look
first you got your two teams
tight knees bursting the seams
of their uniform’s design
coin toss to begin it
each one wants to win it
each one thinking this is mine
based on his own charter
coach assigns a starter
wound up like a tense turbine
kickoff and we’re going
cheers and whistles blowing
four downs to the ten_yard line
you follow?
[ichabod]
uh
[brom]
guards and wide receivers
touchdown whose achievers
thank their maker most divine
cornerback’s appearance
no catch! interference
see that perseverance shine
every quarter’s kick make
antedate a sick play
run a tight end servine
huddle at the scrimmage
patriotic image
four downs to the ten_yard line
as the football flies
through the midday skies
cue the crowd to rise with a roar
and its no surprise
when you realize
you’ll idealize evermore
score!
there go the offensive
linemen, their extensive
masses black as iodine
giants making tackles
always make my hackles
bristle like a porcupine
fans who fill the bleachers
contumacious creatures
worship at their chosen shrine
i could spend my life here
tv game, my wife, beer
four downs to the ten_yard line
[brom & ichabod & katrina]
commercial break, you following?
it’s great, a lot of fun
you boys doing okay? ichabod, you need anything? wine?
nope. fine. thank you
brom, can you help me cook
not now hon the game’s on
[brom]
watch now see them crumble
ref calls it a fumble
so cue the new coaches wine
holy sh_t! he missed it
kicker barely kissed it
and yet you just sit benign
you might think it’s corny
but this makes me h_rny
i could rub one out just fine
once more in slow motion
jesus! grab the lotion
four downs to the ten_yard line
[brom & ichabod & both]
who’s this guy?
what’s his deal?
what’s this awkwardness that i feel?
when he’s near
when he’s close
there’s this flutter of fear that i can’t diagnose
i’m intrigued
see the football flying
what’s his a?
the defense trying
i ignite when he says my name
the losers crying, the shame
brom is straight
and the band starts playing
that’s just great
the crowd starts fraying
why am i always into guys who aren’t available?
the game’s over change the channel to sportscenter
and even if they were, would never go for me
see replay and commentary ichabod, you’re missing everything
watch the game
right, focus on the fine men
the offensive linemen
check out number forty_nine
makes big impression
football’s my obsession
you pick out your valentine
look, i’m a musician
when’s the intermission?
oh, what? you need a glass of wine?
well
ichabod, you k!ll me
god! this game can thrill me
kids who win the heisman
like a siegfield or a weitzman
what
nothing
four downs to the ten_yard line
[katrina]
dinner’s ready!
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