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jaycobay - stuppid boi / cookies in the rain lyrics
[verse 1]
why the f-ck do i even try?
just wanna, -wanna lie down and cry
just tell me before you leave why?
why do you love me? why do you comply, -comply whenever i’m just being a f-ckin’ piece of sh-t
you deserve more, -you deserve more, you deserve the very best, i am not that, i am just f-ckin’ bad, sat, in a state of anxiety, reality’s crashing in on the windshield, slowly
hold my hand, -i don’t understand, -i don’t wanna stand, i wanna sit, away, -away, cause i am just not fit
to love you and for you to love me, i’m different, i’m sad today, everyday, -everyday, it would never change, -wondering ‘how could you love me?’ i hate me
[chorus]
hmm
i just hope you know, -hope you know
hate myself, no knowing if i wanna show, -show you this part of me
f-ck everyone else i wanna eat cookies, today, away
i just hope you know, -hope you know
n-body can replace you, n-body’s like you, true-true, but to be honest i just wanna change jayce
i hate my face, i hate my voice, i am just a waste, of time and choice, and breath, dealing for death, give you the world and whatever you want, whatever you say
[bridge]
say..
[verse 2]
i’m trying to love you and stay there for you
but how the f-ck am i supposed to love another person when i can barely even love myself?
(hm, -uh)
stay, -stay, i wanna hold you and make you feel good, okay
i wanna die, i wanna try to make you feel special before i leave, do i do whatever i wanna do or do whatever i think will impress you? i just wanna love not hate
whenever i wanna be together with somebody i wanna hug, but then again i’m overthinking the fact that i’m not enough, you always break this confidence bluff, just know i’m never ever gonna ask you what, you know when i’ve been fake
(-f-ck.)
yeah..
[pre-chorus]
uhh
i wanna run away, -run away
i just want you to stay, stay away today
run away, run away, i’m something you should just hate
[chorus]
hmm
i just hope you know, -hope you know
hate myself, no knowing if i wanna show, -show you this part of me
f-ck everyone else i wanna eat cookies, today
oo
i just hope you know, -hope you know
uncertainty’s eating me, k!lling me, just like you, what you do, to make me see, for the third time today, i am not meant to be
depression, obsession and aggression’s f-cking me up, i’m not like the others, i don’t even wanna f-ck, trust issues, magazine, so mean, don’t even ask, i am not okay–
[verse 3]
(uhh)
i’ll always change for you, live a life of lies, saying it’s alright, takin’ tonight as a break, just might, make another mistake, and break
another illusion, take it too far, call this writing transfusion, cut out another steal, just to feel, f-cking tired, to be honest, i just wanted to be wanted
f-ck heartfold, feelin’ my chest, cold, breath isn’t bringing up enough, maybe k!lled myself again, or it’s another nightmare, or both, swimming in the lake
like them girls, taking worlds, crumbling like cake, kinda wanna sacrifice myself for world peace, and take another piece outta my piece of peace and lift a new lease, a new life into suffering as if i already weren’t, the nosebleeds stopped when you came, maybe cause i didn’t wanna look bruised, abused, and haunted
no more
struggling every step into the storm, with you i feel warm, i feel hurt, i feel confused, but at least it’s something
another motherf-ckin’ mistake into the day, everyday’s just another one and i still ain’t done, feelin’ phased like it’s a dream, it just seems, i’ve been under a filter, just wanna tell you one thing
[break]
f-cking love you, f-ck
[chorus]
i just hope you know, -hope you know, (-oh..)
hate myself, no knowing if i wanna show, -show you this part of me
f-ck everyone else i wanna eat cookies, today
yeah
i just hope you know, -hope you know
nothing is worth it when i can’t share it with you, break it down it’s just another piece of my insecurities
with a lil bit of this, and a lil bit of suicidal tendencies, frequencies, into these headphones, alone, again and again and again, and then, it’s to the ready rope, okay, okay–
[verse 4]
set still in a sentiment, can’t move no more, breaking up my isolation settlement, but tell me, what for?
f-cking quit this sh-t, f-cking still release this piece of garbage, put it next to the polaroid of us
don’t remind me, please, listen to my plead, can’t put will into this after this weed, can’t walk for what i need, i’m starving but f-ck it, i wanna save it all for you
i don’t want you to love me, i want you to cure me, polarized lies laid into layers of legislations and determinations, i just wanna feel you, vibe with your voice and arms, please forget those cuts
you’re perfect in my perspective, collective collage cut into pieces, reeses, dispose of that sh-t and fill it into a fit, get a hit, hold a soul and fold, it into something who
can’t hurt you anymore
please.. (i just–)
[pre-chorus]
hm
i wanna run away, -run away
i just want you to stay, stay away today
run away, run away, i’m something you should just hate
[chorus]
oh
i just hope you know, -hope you know
hate myself, no knowing if i wanna show, -show you this part of me
f-ck everyone else i wanna eat cookies, today
so
i just hope you know, -hope you know
i’ll be alright, imma tough it through, just f-cking need you, you complete me, really
just hope and keep the faith, just gotta keep giving great, sh-t to the world and imma keep thinking i’ll get something in return in time, give it to you, hey–
[outro]
stay alive
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