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jay honest - if i die tonight كلمات الأغنية

in the past few years
i’ve lost 3 of my grandparents
my best friend of 20 years
and i barely get to see my own son

304 days
that’s how long its been since i seen your face
i’m always asking myself why’d they take you away?
and i can’t handle it
i’m running thru the darkness see my kids they keep me candlelit

i feel like vanishing, cold sweats, sleep paralysis, im like a mannequin
man this sh_t damaging, its crazy how the best of happiness can turn to madness in this world

verse 1:
if i die tonight
would you grieve my life
would you contemplate it
or freak out at the sight

like if you got the news
what would you do
would you have regrets
anything to lose

said if i die tonight
and i ain’t seen my in 10 months, would be there to explain exactly why it wasn’t right
would you own up to your choices, and admit that u were wrong
cause it’s wrong to break the bond between a father and a son

you’s a b_tch motherf_cker i can’t take it
see suicide is crazy but you make me contemplate it
i was focused on my family
why the f_ck’d you break it
made me look like an enemy
so i turned into satan

it’s crazy how this beauty can become this situation
man i wake up every morning and i dream to see they faces
ain’t focused on the fathers governments they f_cked hate us
our fathers were the worst so the judges they ain’t with us
for real

chorus:
like yeah you hurting me
but you hurting them
& who gets hurt worse
it’s only them in the end

i miss my best friend
will this nightmare end
f_ck i need my kids
without em i’d be dead

(x2)

verse2:
look i know it’s complicated, my thoughts are ever changing
sometimes they get deranged, all i want from you is patience
a little understanding of my situation, currently i’m doin this all on my own
ain’t n0body come & save em

psychologically your hurting both brains at the same time
currently not seeing daddy & be prolly don’t know why
but see he’s smart just like his daddy it’ll come in time
i’m feeling sorry for people who kept my son away from i

wipe my eyes when i wake, every morning f_ck sakes
tired of crying everyday, d_mn i hate this f_cking pain
d_mn u got yo daddy sister brother mother aunty too
well i ain’t got a family ain’t an option when it comes to you

i been here the whole time, jumping over land mines
dodging all the pot holes, walking on this thin line
i dun followed every f_cking rule these people told me to
i still can’t seem to break the barriers that keep me away from u

- jay honest

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