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james corden - trump to robert mueller "it wasn't me" lyrics
mueller: donald j. trump?
trump: what?
mueller: open up, mr. president, it’s me: special counsel robert mueller
trump: what do you want, man?
mueller: i just want to talk
trump: no collusion!
mueller: i never said anything about collusion
trump: you’re the puppet!
mueller: i just want to ask you some questions about russian influence on the 2016 election
trump: well you know what i’m gonna say. i’m gonna say it wasn’t me
mueller: all right…
special counsel got you sweatin’ like crazy
tweeting that it’s a witch hunt
open up, got some questions ’bout russia
evidence you should confront
i’m just trying to learn the truth
and figure out how much you knew
all this time my investigation
never took its eyes off you
trump: this d-mn russian probe’s gonna bite me in the bummer
i never should have fired james comey last summer
pundits call me dumb, bannon made me look dumber
i’ll blame hillary, boy i really outdone her!
to be a true dealer know the art of the deal
if mueller’s pressing charges then i’m going to appeal
delete my work e-mails before they reveal
i paid off stormy daniels so she’d spank me ’til i squealed
mueller: manafort committed tax fraud
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: had shady business dealings abroad
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: so many staffers who could be bought
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: how’d you think you couldn’t be caught?
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: i wanna know who conspired
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: with russian bots who were hired
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: treason may have transpired
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: i think your pants are on fire
special counsel got you sweatin’ like crazy
tweeting that it’s a witch hunt
have a seat, got some questions ’bout russia
evidence you should confront
i’ll subpoena you to testify in front of a grand jury
just know five of your -ssociates have already plead guilty
trump: bet you think you’re clever and you’re getting real close
you see them talking russia on the cable news shows
i’ve nothing to hide, but i’m going to propose
you talk to my lawyer ’cause i can’t be deposed!
i know there’s gonna be a lot of tough interviews
don’t care ’bout don jr., he’s a son i can lose
i’ll stick to the plan, attack the fake news
i really should have told jeff sessions not to recuse
mueller: shall we talk about the pee tape?
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: we’ve got a copy on replay
trump: it wasn’t me
mueller: and our mouths were just agape
trump: it wasn’t pee
mueller: i mean, my god, it’s the pee tape!
trump: it wasn’t pee!
mueller: i just came in and i caught him red-handed
tangled in a web of lies
say goodbye to your friends in russia
h-llo to the fbi
they may say i take too long
and my probe is a giant fail
but stay tuned, my investigation’s
putting donald trump in jail
trump: telling you it wasn’t me!
mueller: you keep saying that, see how it works out for you
trump: what about my family?
mueller: don’t you worry, they’re coming, ivanka, don jr., tiffany…
trump: tiffany? who…who the h-ll is tiffany?!
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