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jahaziel - father i turn to you lyrics

v.1
see i remember back then
back when i was lacking in understanding
gospel rapping but words and actions just wasn’t matching
knowledge i was lacking
weak defence had me entangled and trapped in the sins i preach against
guilt complex is my recompense
i’m sliding
why didn’t i just speak to my friends instead of hiding
told the whole clan the old man died in baptism
who was i kidding, fact is that i was backslidden
lacking vision with my candle hidden undercovers
i’m only on evangelism when i’m with my brothers
secret lovers with the devil’s old lies
denied the most high
too scared to break the soul ties
so i continued doing shows and tours
hope n0body knows what goes on behind closed doors
surrounded by so_called friends
which one could i call on?
tried to tell them i was all right but i was all wrong

v.2
see i was blaming satan and the world for my spiritual state of health
till i checked out flesh in the mirror and spelled self
was the prime suspect and culprit
preaching from the highest pulpit but in the prayer room i’m claustrophobic
i know it’s deep, i know i’m weak
you know me, forever gossiping
but when it’s time for witnessing i’m slow to speak
when it’s time to pray, i go to sleep
time to fast, i go and eat
time to stand and praise, i rather hold a seat
back row, act low, hoping n0body notice me
coz it ain’t hard to see, i’m not where i’m supposed to be
but i don’t wanna hear no lecture
coz all i got is peer pressure messing with my head like a hairdresser
it’s stressing me out, doubt and fear
had me in trafalgar square nearly drowning in beer
loud and clear i need a change but i didn’t know how
figured maybe there’d be safety in the marital vows
thought that i could make a fresh start
all i did was break a fresh heart
we like vampires when it gets dark
decided that we best part
my problems need to be solved
and i’d be just a fool to get another involved
i need to make a resolve
either be hot or be cold
revelation 3:16 has got to be told
lukewarmers are gonna be puke from the lord’s mouth
i read the chapter and knew i had to choose now
my head bowed as mad tears fell to the ground
thinking of days when i was proud to be called god’s child
no it’s all wild, i’ve been living foul
i wanna turn around and live a lifestyle to make christ smile
for too long i’ve been missing my place, dissing his grace
and every time i sin it’s like i spit in his face
time for living by faith, time for giving him praise
time to fall prostrate on my face, no time to waste i said…

- jahaziel lyrics

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