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j-stuy - kill love lyrics

if i had one wish, i would rewind time
take it back to the days way before i was nine
and a n_gga had a dream that i could never reach
and the screams from my pops is all in my bloodstream
fast forward, i’m in high school
never was the fly dude
walkin’ through these halls bumpin’ j. cole on itunes
wanna be a rapper while these other n_ggas trappers
but it never really mattered, i could make your brain splatter if you want

i really had my goals
but i let it get tainted f_ckin’ ’round with these hoes
i was never really focused, was way too open
i always felt broken, but yet i was so outspoken
when at times i really felt like i’m drowning in the ocean
my heart is hard as metal, so now it’s causing corrosion
i only started drinking to really help with the copin’
how the f_ck you gon’ tell me i’m the motherf_ckin’ spokesman?

this is real love
but i swear, a lot of times man i just wanna k!ll love
i guess they say that’s real love
i never known real love
but when i look into my daughter’s eyes i know this is how it’s supposed to feel, love
do you think you know real love?
sometimes i wanna k!ll love
as a n_gga gettin’ older i’m startin’ to have regrets
’cause i’m about to be 30 and i’m not livin’ my best
i thought that i would be on with my shorty on my arm
wish that i could go back and really sound the alarm
little n_gga, you gotta do you
’cause all them f_ckin’ youtubes
you watchin’ ain’t gon’ get you to where the f_ck you need to
f_ck goin’ on dates
tryin’ to open gates so you ain’t gotta walk in life, but maybe roll on some skates
but n0body ever pushed you
and that’s the f_ckin’ issue
because you spoke with confidence, n0body sees the real you
walkin’ with these open wounds, it’s only you that’s healin’ you
f_ck a loaded gun because it’s only you that’s k!llin’ you

now that i’m a father, dog, i gotta be better
lately i been feelin’ bitter because i been chasin’ the cheddar
’cause i do this on my own, i ain’t ever felt at home
unless i’m livin’ in the chaos my whole life i was shown
and now i’m bringing back the cycle, i’m feelin’ like i’m michael
but this pen is my knife and when i write, i’m a psycho
if my life was a script, i think i found a couple typos
aimin’ right at the target like i’m a bow and arrow
i feel it in my bone marrow, i’m gon’ battle the present, yeah
from a peasant to a pharaoh, i’ma shift a different gear
call me jack sparrow, i narrow the rivers everywhere
and try and be better every time we hit a different year
real love
but i swear, a lot of times man i just wanna k!ll love
i guess they say that’s real love
i never felt real love
but when i look into my daughter’s eyes i know this is how it’s supposed to feel, love
do you think you know real love?
sometimes i wanna k!ll love

- j stuy lyrics

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