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j. rod (rapper) - first to leave lyrics
[verse 1: j.rod]
it’s hard, it’s hard, just stick to the beat
i’m woken up by your melodies
i know it’s hard but i gotta believe
i gotta find that good in me
you’re a face in the crowd, you’re staring me down
but you’re gone, when i turn around
i know you hear the lies i shout
i know that i, i let you down
but there you were, it’s more than i deserve
i wish you could still hear these words
now the crowd thins out and i sit alone
all alone knowing you were the first
[chorus: kirin dombek]
if i lost myself does that make me a loser
if i start from scratch does that mean i’m newer
i’m a loser but i’m newer looking towards the future
deading the worst of me but you’re the first to leave
[verse 2: j.rod]
it’s hard, it’s hard just hit the notes
i know it’s hard just to let it go
when the rhythms i wrote just strengthen your hold
and seem to show how lil i’ve grown
all on the stage, showing off my pain
you turn to leave, i know you wanna stay
i’m too lost to change, i can’t find my way
but you know, i’ll be okay
that’s why you came just to hear this
i hope the earth shakes with these words i spit
now the crowd thins out and you sit alone
all alone knowing you were the first
[chorus: kirin dombek]
if i lost myself does that make me a loser
if i start from scratch does that mean i’m newer
i’m a loser but i’m newer looking towards the future
deading the worst of me but you’re the first to leave
[bridge: j.rod]
go on home, go on home, go your way
run away, run away, from your pain
go on home, go on home, go your way
run away, run away, from your pain
i’ll be fine, i’m alright, i’m okay
i’m alone, how’d you find me anyway
i’ll be fine, i’m alright, i’m okay
i’m alone, how’d you find me anyway
[verse 3: j.rod]
when the crowd thins out when the all go home
when i stand on stage staring down a fallen rome
when it’s time to clean up when it’s time to let go
can i beat back the tears when i’m standing all alone
am i pathetic to be apologetic should i just forget it
yeah, i get it i said it it was my decision to dead it
but to just accept it is a true ending
no hope to reconnect it as these double time rhymes lose their direction
i remember my place as the lights turn off on stage
off in my room as i sleep and forget to pray
lose the last absolution that remains
father, forgive me, i know well why i stray
maybe you’re right, you shouldn’t trust me this time
but when you hear these lines, give the thought some time
like i gave you so much in my life
first to leave, just the same you were the first in line
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