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j-raa - now. lyrics

[intro]
hey honey
i haven’t talked to you for months and
said you’re not well so you’re making me
more concerned than as per my usual worried self, so
i know that’s my normal state of being, but
i just don’t like to hear that, y’know

[hook]
everything changed now
i don’t feel safe now
tryna find a way out
bottle to the face now
nothin’ is the same now
nothin’ numb the pain now
ain’t no other way out
barrel to the brain now

[verse 1]
wake up and get f_cked up
gone with who i once was
teary eyed, crushin’ pillies dolla billie bump bump
i won’t see the sun come up again
dnd f_ck my friends
you could vote me president but i ain’t never make amends, aye
bottle a night but it’s okay
shoes lose traction
way too high, who knew what happened
move too fast, vision blacken slit my veins
spark my shame and po’ my grief
no more prayers god’s a thief
i spent days and nights and weeks
down on my knees but he don’t speak
everybody that i used to f_ck with gone because of me
knock on heaven’s door, that sh_t is locked ain’t got no key
cycle of startin’ sh_t for fun then wonder why they leave
i’m a pessimist at heart, i love to watch my wrists bleed
[hook]
everything changed now
i don’t feel safe now
tryna find a way out
bottle to the face now
nothin’ is the same now
nothin’ numb the pain now
ain’t no other way out
barrel to the brain now

[verse 2]
outta love and outta touch
why can’t i be good enough?
pushin’ b_ttons, pushin’ luck
why can’t i get over us?
fill my lungs with pesticides
anything to get me high
told the homies step aside
and let me die
lookin’ for light while i’m stuck in the dark
i been grippin’ a knife and i’m leavin’ a mark
i don’t wanna get better the void in my heart
read the notes that she wrote and i tore ’em apart
cover all of my pain with a joke or remark
on a journey to h_ll i’ma start to embark
i thought lovin’ was sweet but it’s bitter and tart
if i just had the chance i would die and restart but i
don’t got the courage to say goodbye
i don’t wanna beg you to save my life
i ran outta hope i could make it right
and the voices in my head said it’s okay to die
[hook]
everything changed now
i don’t feel safe now
tryna find a way out
bottle to the face now
nothin’ is the same now
nothin’ numb the pain now
ain’t no other way out
barrel to the brain now

[bridge]
everything changed now
i don’t feel safe now
tryna find a way out
bottle to the face now
nothin’ is the same now
nothin’ numb the pain now
ain’t no other way out
barrel to the brain now

[outro]
so, gimme a call
just let me know what’s, what’s goin’ on and
what i can do
even if it’s nothing
sometimes there’s nothing anyone can do, but
just gimme a call
i love you

- j raa

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