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howards alias - the explanation lyrics

i feel sick, that was s-x not relationship.
i’ve waited this time to find i already knew me.
i now see that i was filled with apathy
when i needed to feel like i could be what most of the other boys are.

i wished i could have brought fantasy to life,
now all i want to be is not what i wanted today.
it felt new but not as good as staying true to what to what
i now see has been hidden away, but always a part of me.

i respect all opinions; i respect all we’ve seen today.
i tried so hard to do this i tried so hard to change my ways.
but now i see that i can’t change from how i’ve always been.
so this might be you but baby, it’s not me.

i feel sick, that was s-x not relationship.
i’ve waited this time to find i already knew me.
so why waste time pretending that i am fine with friendship
put on the line for something that means much less to me now?

all these times i just froze up inside meant all this time i didn’t feel so free.
all these days i thought i’d change my ways and turn myself into something i’m not.
all these times i just froze up inside meant all this time i didn’t feel so free.
now i’m aware i do have love to share only in ways which feel right to me.
can’t you see all i’m saying is for me this is not right just yet, i need to feel trust.

i respect all opinions; i respect all we’ve seen today.
i tried so hard to do this, i tried so hard to change my ways.
but now i see that i can’t change from how i’ve always been.
and it doesn’t make a difference when i try my heart fails me.
so can you find it in yourself to accept what you see?
because this might be you but baby, its not me.

- howards alias

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