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holding absence - penance كلمات الأغنية

[verse 1]
i watch the clock hands go by, time after time
i dream of leaving this place
if i could leave the past behind
then i would just fade away, cease to exist
well, it would cleanse all my pain
it’s a shame that i ever lived

[pre-chorus]
the devil on my shoulder whispers to me
and dribbles such a never-ending cacophony
into my ears to blind the joy that tries to reach out to me
such a dulcet suffering, why can’t anyone see?
penance: a lesson in misery

[chorus]
you will study my rise as you watched my fall
i wrote my love in the cracks of the cracks of the wall
you’ll read that “dying in vain was as good as it looked”
in a forget-me-not written in the spine of a book

[verse 2]
i wasted my time falling in love
with the thought of falling in love with someone
am i k!lling time, or k!lling myself?
i think i’m k!lling myself, sometimes
penance: a lesson in misery

[bridge]
i could never grow trees
still, i planted my seeds
sadly, you will see, eternal sunshine won’t blossom me

[outro]
i am enough to feel happiness and love
it’s hard to say out loud, “i deserve to be happy now”

well, i deserve to be happy now
you, penance: a lesson in misery
well, i deserve to be happy now

- holding absence

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