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hitbox (hardcore) - bruised skin lyrics
returned to a point in my mind i thought i had long moved past
wrote all my abuse songs and thought that i was getting better
but progress isn’t as easy as just letting out
the darkness comes in waves and suddenly the bottom falls out
failure
addict [self medicate]
selfish
pounding footsteps only i hear
panic
cower [there’s nothing there]
ears ring
too old to be doing this
body can’t comprehend safety never thought that it would last
a yearning to be punished for each percieved wrongful act
constantly angry at myself for things that i can’t help
i deserve worse i deserve hurt i want to go to h_ll
bruised skin used to feel like an outfit
a pain threshold that i held in my heart
i never thought that it wasn’t normal
i always thought that it made me tough
just the way that it is when we were all kids
never looking outside your life is what it is
then you grow up and the wounds all really start to heal
then you realize how naked you feel without them there
f_ck, i’m aching
again, just hit me
again, i need it
again
crave the relief
i need the escape
just look what you did to me
dont you dare forget it
i won’t be there to see your last breath
last time we talked it was over
why can’t i reach a conclusion
now that i’ve put some f_cking years behind it
why can’t i just live my life
it’s been so many years past but
i’m still bombarded by fear and thoughts of
the ones left behind
i can’t sit still
f_ck
did i
f_ck it
no use in dwelling anymore
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