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hijackt - i'm sorry lyrics
[verse 1]
thinking back then i was happy with myself
but everything is different wishin i was someone else
i’m wishing i was different now i really feel the guilt
trapped in the walls of the prison i have built
when times get tough you don’t know what you will do
when times get tough all you think about is you
and how you’re gonna make it how you wanna run away
how you wanna run when you really wanna stay
all i wanna do is to run away from here
but i don’t wanna leave everything i’m holding dear
i guess i wanna run, cuz i’m frightened from the fear
i guess i wanna stay, i forgotten how to steer
see i been riding on in the p-ssenger’s seat
my life on autopilot i just sit in defeat
no matter what i try seems i never will see
what it really means, to be livin as me
demons in my mind i just write em away
but they’ll be coming back in a couple of days
cuz i been making friends with ones who i hate
cuz they can understand why i’m feeling this way
cuz they were always there when i living the lows
tellin me to quit, tellin me i should go
maybe our relations are a little abusive
taking my emotions all they do is they use it
now i feel like all i know is nothing to show
that everything i live is just the mind of ghost
that i could never be the man i wanted to be
i could never be the man i know that is me
so i been living on like i’m a f-ckin facade
like i’m a f-ckin devil tryna get it with god
livin like i’m dead i don’t show the emotion
but how you moving on when you are never in motion?
[bridge]
i’m walking in a body that i know isn’t mine
cuz everything i do is contradicting my mind
i wonder what takes for a person to find
what it’s gonna take to be the person inside
addicted to the pain its a friend to me now
i’ve broken up with joy i don’t want her around
i don’t wanna base everything on a lie
tell them i am good when i am broken inside
and now i wanna live and put it all on the line
then maybe i can see what i’m trying to find
i just wanna know what i’m feeling tonight
and why i wanna live in a soul that has died
lookin at the stars as i lay in my bed
praying to a god asking if i am dead
but i could never know anything he had said
cuz when he tried to speak i just got up and fled
[verse 2]
i’m sorry to myself and everybody else
cuz everything i feel is everything you couldn’t help
everything i’ve done is the reason i have felt
that i was not enough to be living as myself
i’m sorry to my friends i been sayin it again
cuz you have never known the person i have been
cuz i have never shown who i am when i’m alone
and if ever will, well i guess i’ll never know
i’m sorry to my mom, wishin i could go back
for one last time hear her calling me jack
and i would treat her right do whatever she said
but i’ll never make it right, now my mother is dead
as i’m growing up and i look at my life
i see that everything is filling hate in these eyes
this world is not a heaven like it was in the past
cuz h-ll is in my eyes hopin it doesn’t last
sorry to god, if you’re hearing me now
i know it’s complicated i’m not torching you down
but i’m looking to the sky and i beg for a sign
but you wanna take a while just to send a reply
they tell me that you work in mysterious ways
at times i wanna speak so you could show me your face
so i could know the meaning of that pain that i feel
and if there is a heaven i don’t know if its real
[bridge]
i’m sorry to the world i just wanna repent
i wish that i could say everything that i meant
but now when i do i just hurting another
so i’m keeping to myself, it is me that will suffer
i feel like i deserve all the pain that i carry
going through my life and every step it is scary
i’m thinkin i will trip falling down to the ground
i’m sorry to the people that are watching me drown
i’m sorry to the people that are watching me live
i’m sorry to the people i have nothing to give
cuz everytime i try all i do is make worse
so i’m running to the pen so i can write a verse
i’m sorry to the demons i been leading em on
they never wanna leave when i’m wanting em gone
i’ll show that i am more than the things i have done
the night it only dies at the sight of the sun
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