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helios (rap) - ail(mandy) lyrics
ok, i just need to focus…i just need to focus…
verse 1
the demon peers at me as i brush my t–th
blurry but can be seen that he spits when i spit
i try not to look but i guess he’s my ref-
lection, raps and sings so he must be me
i walk out the door then i close it behind me
hand to my tummy, but i tell it to bite me
time’s run out, no food for the tardy
yet i stroll and hesitate like before entering a party
i slipped on the landing, these days i feel like mandy
billy died years ago thinking he could outlast me
i miss him, it’s spring, the creek bubbles, i’m free
sugar and spice and i’m as nice as could be
——————————————————————————-
ok, i’ll cut the cr-p: let me paint the scene
it might be spring but the trees sure ain’t green!
they cast a grayish tinge as i cross the street
i can feel my heartbeat, one two, one two
really what keeps me awake as bus 2 comes through
late as always, the trees seem to say
as they converge to stare me down so i’m covered in gray
now he opens the carriage, tells me to get inside
walking past, feeling burned by his reddish eyes
always thought hors-m-n acted like they were on meds
but this one’s calm so he never lost heads
or a head, it’s too dark to tell
absorbed in our h-lls, the horseman stops the bus-
i mean carriage- won’t drive until we’re in rank and file
so arranged, he saddles up to ride
and onwards we go, a journey into the mind!
interlude(buses…a carriage?!)
verse 2
the bus comes to a halt then we walk in the door
siblings separate so its me against the world
but no outlawz for me so when i take a seat
i stick out like a sprig among autumn leaves
once i was green, i blossomed freely
now i’m a blackened stalk, devoid of billy
with each cycle of the loop, my stem droops
even further than before in front of a group
——————————————————————————–
but no more metaphors, let me speak plainly
my self-esteem hasn’t been peaking much lately
if anything it’s dropped, below zero degrees
i’m not just cold, my personality needs febreeze
so badly it stinks, yeesh, better make it a double
cause the stench from self-loathing is far from subtle
and i’m soaked in it; it fills every pore of my skin
a cancerous cyst yearning to be free from within…
———————————————————————————
demonandme:
and rip their faces off; i really do hate them all
you can’t even fathom how bitter my gall
is, let them burn for every perceived wrong
right or not, let them erupt when they hear this song
remember on the way to the bus?
when i talked about the demon and the trees with a curse?
i’d forgot to add i’d hopped on with my mama’s voice ringing in my ear
i guess who i’m becoming has become one of her fears
no matter what i do, i’m always in the wrong
if you only knew, how much i could say in this song
but i just rhymed the same words so i want you to rip your cord
from your ipod or whatever and strangle in my thoughts
cuz how can i help you if i can’t even help me?
what i am is not what i want to be
and since my goals will never sync
what benefits could me living ever bring?
safe mode….
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