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heath mcnease - no victims lyrics
[jetty rae]
your lonely shoulders and perfect face
are falling forward, fading away
i’m reaching out with silent words
i fear the crash coming
i fear the way we’ll burn
[verse 1: heath mcnease]
i’m sorry it ain’t work out
i don’t wish we could have fixed it
i just hate the struggle left both of us burnt out
’cause no one wants to be the shooter
leave your finger on the trigger and years later say we wish we’d done it sooner
and ain’t no cold intentions
but we so resistant to the truth
we don’t know the difference between love and codependence
and we’re both guilty of holding on
so tight fisted that life withered and died inside of our frozen palms
you were looking for normalcy, and i was looking for money
you were looking for a husband, and i was homeless and running
in a rental car in grand rapids crying in the backseat
’cause it’s snowing and i’m broke and hungry and embarr-ssed and can’t sleep
but ain’t no victims here, only perpetrators
rest -ssured the one you love the most in life is your -ssailant
and we stand with gun barrels aimed at perfect placement
and don’t move for six years paralyzed like perfect strangers
[jetty rae]
i’m holding back my violent words
i fear the tempest crashing
i feel my failures burn
we’re born to fly, but we hit the ground
this is how we lie
this is how we come down
[verse 2: heath mcnease]
i’m sorry it ain’t work out
i don’t think you could have fixed it, heath
i think you did your best, but you just burnt out
ain’t no one here gon’ say you ain’t give it your best wing
but they talk about you behind your back like, “this kid is depressing”
a decade on the road, you got 5,000 twitter fans
ten years of your life, you got less than that on instagram
begging for mentions from strangers that don’t care
and whoring yourself out for likes on a picture
you’re so scared to be forgotten that you’ve forgotten that they never knew you in the first place
they don’t care about the panic attacks you have on your birthday
another year older and less relevant, by the way
you hide behind a youthful smile
it’s getting harder to hide the grays
and that’s embarr-ssing, ain’t it?
used to swear your parents were ancient
now you’re their age when they had you
and you know you’ll never be famous
that’s a tough pill to swallow
but you’ll say it at a confessional
that you had to give away for free
’cause there’s no one left to sell it to
your 420 weed break music for older rap heads
novelty youtube bars for younger trapheads
or the c.s. lewis guy for those who never dug deeper
or thrift store jesus guy who curses while his christian fans disappear
spend your whole life hoping folks notice what you did
now you know your grandparents will never get to hold onto your kids
but there’s no victims here in the valley of the shadow of death
just the devils who laugh as the shadow gets cast on itself
and there’s comeuppance for all of us who mask what we felt
took bits of other people’s hearts ’til only fragments were left
and we re-frame the words our loved ones actually said
to justify our selfish reactions and our lack of regret
but when the bell tolls and we out here gasping for breath
praying for absolution, it’s chapters from the past that get read
when we exchange our bed for a casket instead
maybe then we can finally stop asking what’s next
[jetty rae]
your lonely shoulders and perfect face
are falling forward, fading away
we’re born to fly, but we hit the ground
this is how we lie
this is how we come down
down, down, down
down, down, down
down, down, down
mmmm
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