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harry gordon - the story that i startit (the kirk soiree) lyrics
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[verse 1]
when first in this toun i came for to stop
and i startit oot in business in ma side street shop
to the kirk every sunday, i went twice as a rule
and i counted the collection for the sunday school
for ma greatest ambition it was, you see
to tell a little story at the kirk soiree
[verse 2]
the chance came at last, but lord preserve us
i coudna say a word for i felt that nervous
i thocht upon a limerick and i thocht upon a riddle
then i startit on a story, but i stoppit in the middle
for the story that i startit was not, you see
the kind that you can tell at the kirk soiree
[verse 3]
well, after that evenin’ aw the men would stop
for the finish o the story in ma side street shop
my business grew so rapidly and so did my renown
that soon i was elected to the council o the town
where they made me the convener o the sewage committee
for the story that i startit at the kirk soiree
[verse 4]
when i became a magistrate, promotion proved my ruin
the first time that i sat upon the bench was my undoin’
for objectionable conduct, i’d to try a freen’ o mine
and gie him seiven days withoot the option o a fine
because he went a told a bobbie, a staunch wee free
the story that i startit at the kirk soiree
[verse 5]
so i retired from public life, a disappointed man
wi ma mouth aw twisted tellin’ stories in behind ma hand
but many years have passed since fortune gave me such a knock
and just the other evenin’, i received a dreadful shock
when the minister’s flapper daughter at her faither’s jubilee
told the story that i startit at the kirk soiree
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