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grey matter - breathe lyrics
[verse 1: grey matter]
from the day that i was born, until the day that i die
i think i’ll never have courage to ever ask you why
you have me feeling like my life is a lie
so i continue to try, and never let you see a tear from my eye
and maybe cause i’m embarr-ssed, but maybe cause you ain’t worthy
but all you did was hurt me, abandoned me, and desert me
left me as a b-st-rd child
and even when you saw me never took time to look past the smiles
to see the pain that i was living with, so whom i kidding with?
i know it sounds ridiculous, but i’ve envisioned a start
or rather a reason for you leaving
and came to the conclusion i wasn’t good enough for keeping
so i’m sorry, i apologize to you!
i never meant to cause you all the pain i put you through
maybe when i was young i must’ve made you mad
or done something that made you think i hated you dad
but i didn’t, i promise, and still you left
and left me alone and still as my breath
and i couldn’t breathe
i’m still unable to breathe
and if i ever have a child i’ll be unable to leave
cause i refuse to keep love from flesh and blood
have them growing up in they mind with questions of
their past, wondering what they did wrong
i pray to god that you don’t hate this song, or hate me
[verse 2: grey matter]
i’m sorry you had to leave me dad
believe me dad
i know now that you didn’t need me dad
and i accept that it’s not your fault
but you left mom, too, and i blame you: that’s all your fault
i don’t accept that, and still can’t understand
how could you leave her, she barely spoke english man!
with two kids
and me and my sister weren’t even grown, a car that always broke down
a low cl-ss home
she worked two jobs, and what were you doin’!?
where were you at when we had nothing and nothing was movin’!
did you ever stop to think about what she was going through?
or how she abandoned her brothers and sisters to be with you?
i bet you didn’t
you son of a b-tch!
the very thought of you would have me feeling like a son of a b-tch
who up and leaves a woman when she needs you most!
you f-ckin’ coward, she had no one when she needed you close
and that’s real, and still you left, and left her alone to be as still as a breath
and she couldn’t breathe
she’s still unable to breathe
and she was stuck with me and sis but was unable to leave
because she loved us, with all of her heart
she held sh-t together when everything seemed to be falling apart
by itself
she is the strongest woman on this earth
but it’s a shame that all the strength came from the pain and the hurt
that you caused her
makes me wonder why’d you even bothered
you should’ve left her alone the first time that you saw her
cause i rather not be born than cause a struggle for my mother
and i love her, but if she ain’t met you she’d-a never suffered
sh-t, you’re lucky that i still talk to you
you’re lucky that there’s never been a time i’ve ever fought with you
you’re lucky that i don’t do you like you did us and leave
cause with or without you
we’ll continue to breathe, and that’s real
[verse 3: grey matter]
pop, i apologize i had to write this song
but i’m a grown man, sh-t i know right from wrong
and you’re grown too
so i know you did what you had to do
it’s something you were glad to do, i shouldn’t have been mad at you
but still you never had to look my mother in her eyes
and tell her how much you apologize for makin’ her cry
and that hurts
her pain is like a knife in my back
it would’ve been nice to relax but i was fighting with facts
and wanted to believe that you had a reason to leave
and if you did, then don’t explain it to me cause i understand
i need you to know that i don’t hate you
im not sayin’ the things that i’m sayin’ only to blame you
i just got a lot to get, off of my chest sometimes
i look at things and start feeling awfully blessed
cause i did see you a little, and for that i was glad
i mean, tempe never even met his dad!
and that sucks, comin’ up
never knowin’ your pop
makin’ you so self destructive, you’d never know when to stop
but, instead of focusin’ on
blowin’ the spot
you would harness all the energy
and you would know when you got
something better ahead of you, i hope everything i’ve said to you
ain’t never offended you. if it did, i never meant it to
i ain’t tryin’ to point fingers, and even later on in your mind when this joint lingers
don’t be sad, but still you left
to be left alone just as still as your breathe when you can’t breathe
cause when you still unable to breathe, i’ll be right there
and i’ll be unable to leave because i love you
with all that i’ve got
no matter what i’m always gonna call you my pop
but i won’t forget or be so easy on what you done to my mom
and deep down i know you know you were wrong
so i’ll accept that
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