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gift blessing - chaos lyrics
intro:
i hate myself
and i’ll f___ing hate you if you feel sorry for me
part 1:
i’m tired, i’m sickly depressed
sinking in stress
but don’t feel sorry for me
’cause i swear to god i did this to myself
i always gotta dream
always gotta scheme
always gotta wish
for the hardest things
always gotta think
i can never blink
it’s my little child
it’s life is in my hands
but i wish that i could smash its brains out
cuz it’s a worthless hungry parasite
that’s slowly k!lling me within
always gotta ink lyrics with double meanings
if no one hears it then it’s meaningless
and i’m scared of what that means
ayy, look at all the sacrifice i made
lost my girl
lost my friends
for some fans who never cared
i pursued a foolish dream and lost my academic grades
no wonder i don’t see my dad
he probably hides behind that shame
lost my sleep
lost my mind
lost the appetite i had
so i skip every dinner and leave my whole family betrayed
and my guilt is eating me ’cause they keep serving me a plate
but i ain’t coming
they will all die famished if they wait!
look at the godd_mn outrageous prices that i paid
for a psychedelic state
got a bad trip instead of a divine high that could’ve elevated me
i’m pretty d_mn overwhelmed
so i readily might as well just dive into this very lake
for i have sacrificed all the realest things in life for a fantasy i hate!
funny thing is i’m pretty d_mn aware
but for a really long time
i’ve forgotten about the number of lives
that i brutally put at stake
for the feeling of fiddling with the vigorous pen
that is building a city of literary mastery
towering towards the spirit of god
then it breaks
for i’m writing to escape
from the problems that i create
and i’m rattling in a corner with a stimulant tablet
i’m battling h_ll
might as well die with this child in this lake i’m_
part 2:
ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh
ooh
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