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gary the cool guy - button up (interlude) lyrics
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[skit]
b-ttoning up my shirt. 1, 2, 4. 3 i mean. d-mnit
i shouldn’t have drunk so much last night
adjusting my collar and, ow! ouch ouch ouch
ow. what the h-ll? oh my god. what is wrong with my voice?
i sound like one of those fat people on tv with backwards roads
oh my god what is happening. i can’t breathe, help
my neck is stuck. i k!lled my neck by b-ttoning my shirt too tight
somebody call an ambulance, please!
6 hours later
oh god what am i going to do? everything is ruined
my family won’t talk to me, my career is over i can never rap agai
everything is ruined. my life is over. it’s… no. no it’s not
stay cool. you’re… you’re gary. it’s okay
6 weeks later
i’ll see you later everyone, i’m going to miss this place so much
oh i can see it all from up here
the chip shop down the road
the local park with smashed pieces of beer bottle in the childrens play area
the mini cooper dealership. the nursery. the windmill on the hill
the little red barn. the pier: i can see everything. i’m going to miss it so much
i love you all. goodbye britain
upon ariving in america, things were different. the plug sockets were all the wrong shape. every driver was drunk and couldn’t keep on the right side of the road. restaurants accidentally gave me double the amount of food i asked for
it was all, different. but i settled in. i found a house, got a car, a job even
soon enough life was peaceful again. i still miss england. every day
but it’s okay, because through all this, i remained cool. i remained calm. i remained…
gary, b-tch
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