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forfeit - holding pattern lyrics

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i’m still searching for the point where this wave’s own weight
became so great that she crashed and rolled back
i know the end can’t be assessed as of itself
but desperate eyes see no shame in blindly seeking what they lack

born a blank canvas, dying a mess
a maze of twisted nerves, beneath crawling flesh
the miss_firing synapses within my brain
as ill_tempered blood aches to burst from my veins

self_awareness seems to be the blackest curse
i’m hard pressed to find an affliction that’s worse
than feeling rotten within your own skin
when we’re too far gone, to feel pure again

i give. lies, lies, lies

choked on self_pity, i’ve cut all my ties
heart and a conscience, that won’t let me survive
hanging my head, and begging for my last rights

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