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fiona tasarek - 1983 كلمات أغنية

[mike}
i was just thirteen years old
didn’t know my place in the world
my father was never around, for who was to guide me through?
my brother was six years old
and my father gave him his world
he built a whole restaurant just for him
left me to drown so he’d learn to swim
i wanted to love my brother too
but my hate for him only grew

but god, his eyes always welled with sweetness
oh how could i ever compete?
a heart of gold i stupidly envied
it should’ve made sense how the world seemed to sеrve him
was too blind to see that i didn’t deservе it…

the robots that were built for him
happened to strike fear in his heart
i’d wear a cheap mask and i’d hide and scare him till he’d cry and cry
i ruthlessly tormented him
yet it didn’t ease my black heart
i bullied him till he was scared to sleep
bullied him till that place gave him creeps
now i just ponder and sigh about our lack of goodbyes
all of it ended so poorly on his seventh birthday
if i could go back then surely he’d still be here today
i’d stop myself from lifting him up into the monster’s jaw
then watching the blood spill after the loud crack
and realizing that there was no coming back

sometimes i can still see your eyes
looking up at me, then the dark sky
every time i still apologize
and although i try i’ll never be satisfied
i still hate myself for allowing you to die
if i had just been a good brother
then neither of us would have suffered
and we could finally flee 1983…

- fiona tasarek

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