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eugene tooms - aunt steve's lyrics
a priest and a nun walked into a pub
and they sat on the stools at the bar
black tooth tom who was hot on the run
well he stood up and spat in a jar
he walked to the two, “man what he’s gonna do”
thought misty “the widow” mckay
he took off his hat and cleared his throat
and he had the following to say:
’scuse me father… evenin’ ma’am
i’d like a confession to make
see i’m a bad man
if you could forgive all my sins
before all these folks
right here at aunt steve’s
the priest told tom: “well, this ain’t a church son
won’t you come back tomorrow instead?”
“father, i fear by the timе i’d be there
i might havе my head high on a spear”
“come outta there tom!” yelled the sheriff of town
he was 60 and hard as a stone
black tooth smiled, well he almost got out
though he longed for a final shootout
’scuse me father… forgive me ma’am
i won’t have a confession at all
’cuz i’m a bad man
you could never forgive all my sins
’cuz imma k!ll these folks
right here at aunt steve’s
gunshots!
a hat drops
(the lawman was dead, and he hit the ground)
gunshots
oh god!
(everyone froze, no one made a sound)
the priest just stared
as black tom left
he was the last man standing
he was heading southwest
“white men…” said a native
“have too many chiefs
but not here at aunt steve’s”
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