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epic rap battles of bruh - poop vs. shit. lyrics
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p__p:
after a long period of spitting your sh_tty brapples
your first order of sh_tness is to drag me to this cr_pple
so allow me to drop sh_ts ‘gainst your eat_it_all prattle
and after this deuce, try not to cry to your toilet cattle!!!
put down the pog plunger and listen to this
if you knew how to f_cking wipe i wouldn’t get p_ssed
toilet paper running thin, and you’re still trying to grin
but go ahead and use your hand, throw it into the trash bin
sh_t:
yeah, i brap sometimes, now that is some true sh_t
but let’s be real; it ain’t funny with you p__p, b_tch
a complete and utter sh_tstacle, your rapping makes me sh_tstickle
oh, i’m sorry, p__pie, am i being way too sh_tacle?
you’re kind of a sh_t, p__p, you wanna fight pee? jeez
pretty bold claims when you’re lacking on tp
yeah, try and take a sh_t with your weak f_cking rear
if i hadn’t dumped out your ass you wouldn’t have a career
p__p:
it was you that kickstarted my ass, that’s right
but i took your sink and washed my hands, aight
yeah, i cracked a fart on you back when i was in charge
cause you kept sh_tting around like a piece of discharge
i was the one that brought the sh_t to the toilet, ya follow me?
get it through your ass that people subbed for quantity, not quality
i’ll continue quickly sh_tting, while you struggle to let one out
so f_ck you, f_ck you, and uh f_ck you
sh_t:
holy f_ck! lotta sh_t! did you even really try?
so much effortlessness you can’t even manage to wipe
try to act tough and fearless but did you forget
who was there everytime in your life you took a sh_t?
p__ped me over, said h_ll with it, you’re selfish
you wasted your wipes went to fame and tried to sell it
i’m finished with this flushed_up hypocritical chum
so cr_p for once try to get your d_mn job done
cr_p:
p__p, stop your gloop
you said the same sloop, yesterdayoop
and it hadn’t even been relevant the past year
you ass here, that’s what your braps sound like
you asked what i sh_t of it? didn’t ya?
don’t worry i’ll dump and reflush the toilet to fix it up
which is what i’m doin’ when you think
i’m screwin’ around, prosh_tterbating, and
p__pin’ a round, masterwasting
i could do your job better than you when my ass is off track
sedated! and you say you the cr_pper who made this?
what a fib, what a lonely sh_t
who’s only p_ssed cause he knows
p__p and i co_owned. we sh_ts with no b_tch
so we spent our time moldin and sculptin it
loathed in the p__p process man it was so lit
then you came in and took a sh_t all over it!
sh_t:
that statement is bullcr_p, like a p__py p__pp__pyin
did pretty much nothing, yet claimed that you were sh_tting it
and after our p__p, you wasted quite fast
went from okay flow into cr_pper rap! (brap!)
p__p:
pretty ironic sh_t talks about cr_ppers doing nothing
and owning it; you self awaste or something?
should’ve known these sh_tters would f_ck my legacy up
now bow down to your cr_p daddy; give this c_ck a suck
cr_p:
p__p? i’ve already flushed his p__p in
in 20 sh_t_teen by a landslide, it was p__p_sh_t
mm, he flushed it, and i’ll do it again to sh_t something
like his fans do his work for him and they’re paid in umm sh_t!!!!
p__p
you think your sh_tlevance breaks out being in this crew?
i mean, f_ckin’ h_ll, you’re p__ping more than i do
a sh_t joke? you tried, bro, bein’ something you’re not
with your equals pee rip_offs and your p__pin’_viewin’ robots
sh_t
to be p__pin’ zoopin’ everytime that i see ya
at least you’re a good wiper, jk bazinga!!!!!!!!!!!!
i sh_t you both now, that’s what i’m about bro
i got the final word in, so now cr_p roll the outro
feces:
(loud brap) [x2]
sh_t:
[rolls eyes] okay, feces, no one really thinks that’s funny
feces (talking):
umm, i really don’t give a sh_t or anything, sh_t, but okay buddy
feces (rapping):
erbsh_ttery, you inspired erbop__ptoons
but it’s clear, this sh_tsa is more talented than all of you
even though you are p__ps, you guys are not very clean
so prepared to be dissed by this sh_t_dropping_teen
you guys are sh_tting, got many fans watching to cry
when p__p was p_ssed for not playing cawthon
it’s so bullsh_t how i bust my ass to bring quality droppings
in my toilet and i’m outsh_tted by this sh_t that no one wanted
p__p smells bad, in this sh_t duel, i’ll k!ll yo
i’m p__ping you out worse than your sh_t_covered d_ld_
sh_t says i’m “wanted for free p__p stars” that can’t spit one
at least they can respond unlike dookie, p__pie, and, dung
sh_t:
no need to be a sh_tbag about this battle
claim that i’m sh_t? well let’s look at all three of your cr_pples
cr_ppy p__pies aren’t tasty, cr_ppypastas are lazy
and your sh_ttysh_ts series is the reason i’m crazy
feces:
call ‘em sh_t all you want, but shat, we’re not the same, g
without us, you’d be p__ping with sh_tcob on the count of three
you already know i’m right, don’t go ask for a reflush
cause i’m p__ping you faster than the p__p vs sh_t rerun
cr_p:
your p__p is distasteful, i’m astonished at the waste you’ve l!cked
i could do better than you when i was flushed down a toilet
the hate when i p__p, but ooh, feceeees
you have an ass and still make filthy p__p jokes, like ya b_tt, g
feces:
off_sh_t_flow is what you’re known fo, oh no
if a sh_t face_off is what you want then let’s go
tryna step to me will make you wanna sh_t again later
unscripted sh_tses i’ll dump like all your money from toilet paper
p__p:
f_ck you, feces, with your gall to call us p_ssies
crying like a little cr_p while you and sh_t are playing p__psies
starting bullsh_t with the p__p, then he races when i p__p in
the attitude comes with two asses and two chins
feces:
yeah, no sh_t i f_cked up, but let’s look at your sh_tstakes
lost a girl cause you hid behind a fake toilet? nice job mate
bow down to your new prince, don’t mistake me for sh_tsh_t
it’s best to get back to your bathroom you sh_t for, b_tch!
sh_t:
you guys hear this sh_t? i can’t stand his lines
cr_p:
should we sh_t him out?
p__p:
we won’t have to stand his lines
all 3:
feces, no offense, but we’re not giving you any cr_p
feces:
hey, f_cking stooooop, and add me back
call an erbp__pemedic! these b_tt buddies are flushed
looks like i’ve sh_tten the p__p spot, yeah, that’s all, bruh
p__p:
oh, great. just what we f_cking p__ped!
dung:
excrement:
sorry about that dung, but all your bullsh_t makes me smile
you know staying out of your toilet isn’t really in my style
began as a stain in the toilet, but now my p__p comes to fruition
flushing you fanmade sh_ts to end captain defacation’s mission
was brought here from p__p’s funeral and it still makes me hostile
considering after three sh_ts, it still smells awful!
i’ve tried to lend you all some wipes but i’m a loss at what to say
when half you babies lose your sh_t because i p__p the wrong way
when everyone makes my dung a chore
it’s a good thing i’m use to p__pie lore
cause all your whiny sh_t could make a guy’s sh_t crack
from p__p.com to caca’s cr_p
your sh_tty groups and p__pie wars
but yeah sure i’m the caca wh0re
so go ahead and sh_t and moan some more
i’ve already heard all of your dung before
dung:
excrement:
keep on going about the p__p pack and how i’m so stinky
at least when i wiped for you i didn’t make your ass messy
cr_p:
man, what do you know ‘bout flushing some p__p, excrement?
how ‘bout you make some feces before you call your sh_t excellent?
excrement:
oh, cr_p, everyone here already knows you’re a giant sh_tstain
cause you haven’t flushed this f_cker since that one time it caused pain
sh_t:
rawr, it’s big sh_tty excrement, tryna sh_t a good flow
i talked to your sh_t mom, she gave me a sh_t blow
excrement:
go ahead and sh_t again like the last time i hurt your p__pies
the writers of this really need to k!ll off their f_cking series
feces
p_ss off monkey_persh_tty_sh_ts, yea, ya know it’s true
i’ll get a multi_flush, once i pull the f_cking plug on you
excrement:
nothing’s safe from your dirty hands, you’ll regret being an imp__per
when i end your career in cold sh_ts like a sh_tty creepyp__per
p__p:
nearly five p__ps later and your ass is still acting bitter?
it’s no wonder that i shat you to go hang out on sh_tter (dot com)
excrement:
i’ve never gone to a bathroom that’s why my bars are so dirty
drinking toilet water we can all tell that you’re so thirsty
(pre_verse)
dookie:
trololololol, nah, this sh_t’s very real
but ironically, you all act like you eat f_cking cr_ppy meal_
doodoo:
yo, i’m linked to the toilet, but at least i stay unflushed, dude
cuz sh_t i stay on fire, like you just ate mexican food
(verse) dookie:
all of this bullsh_t’s why i’m here to sh_t this
been rapping out dipsh_ts since before i used sh_tstrips
but i gotta give you some credit sh_t, cause you know
i cancelled p__pie_pee but your series is more flushed down the hole
p__p, i’m gonna be sh_t, no, not the kind you eat
not everything revolves around you and your sh_tstains are weak
my p__pspective of you, it got a little bit sh_tty
when you dipped out to get titties in liberty city
feces, your early sh_ts were really d_mn painful
excrement’s almost as _n_l as sh_t and p__p are sh_tsal
dung, everything that comes out of your ass just sounds dumb
f_ck this, i’d rather listen to cr_p’s doodie p__pblum
sh_t:
dookie, your p__pblum was wack, and your p__p makes me sick
cover up the toilet? more like cover up this sh_t
dookie:
i got the p__p todo the things that i want todo
not nestle all my days away in my p__proom
excrement:
crying from all this diarrhea, does your sh_tcare cover tissues?
no sh_tscle plans, kid fans, man, i marvel at your sh_tsues
dookie:
ah, shut up, excrement, i won’t be drinking your pee
rapping me when a toilet is the only thing you can defeat
cr_p:
what, are your b_lls acting up, you sound smelly and congested
you couldn’t p__p against’ me in this battle with ya best sh_ts
dookie:
nice stains, cr_p_tooth. you know what? f_ck you
the p__p_cover p__pblum? guess what? it sucked, too!
dung:
dookie:
scoot it, p__poo dude, here, you’re the cap__pse
takes you so long to sh_t, how’d you think you wouldn’t lose?
feces:
i don’t trust b_tches who like looking at this motherfacka
the worst representation of c_p__ps ever since caca!
dookie:
who let the sh_tskers in? ah, sh_t, it’s just feces
couldn’t tell from that cr_p you spat worse than a pee pee
waste:
clear the waste for the headlining cr_p of this p__p brawl
i’m surprised i’m here this late you sh_ts dont matter at all
ya know, without the diarrhea, me and sh_t’s troll there
erbobruh would be absolutely f_cking nowhere
and yet i’m dissh_tted, despite all of the cr_p i do
why’d i even sh_t out this verse? you’re probably gonna flush it too
it’s quite the shame you’ve let my sh_ts go to waste
i’d think someone who understands p__p would run this place
and don’t think my use of fat pogs and chungus mats is lame, g
don’t forget, i had diarrhea before it was mainstream
i’ve torn the toilet down by the hairs on my sh_tty sh_t
sh_t, it’s clear i win, i’ve flush you all into oblivion
sh_t:
you suck up to every toilet, but worst comes to worst
got on erbofp__pie, but really “erbosh_t did it first”
waste:
this ginger p__pie sure takes after his scat
look at my sh_ts: your cr_ps are worse than that stain on your ass
dung:
waste:
poo hoo, you had to sh_t out some tp…
step to me, and you’ll get wiped, tp!
excrement:
you guys remember sh_t vs p__p? i don’t
how it’d die? a hairysh_tstain2875
waste:
excrement’s back to flushing and i’m feeling the tension
keeping sh_ting, soon enough you’ll need another p__poovention
dookie
you’re history poo pee, and i’m not the first that’s said it
stop slaving these b_tches and learn how to wipe it
waste:
there’s tons of sh_tty sh_tty singers, why am i facing this one?
you sh_twits coming after me reminds me of a sh_thunt
feces:
anytime i can’t sh_t out your edits, you lose your sh_t
over a p__pies that based on the most cr_p subject in it
waste:
i was a whiny little sh_t, but it’s not like you’re any better
and i wouldn’t have been “cr_pped” if you actually put in effort
p__p:
oh shut the f_ck up on effort because can’t you pee?
we do all that sh_t for you but it’s not enough for your tp
waste:
since i used fictional sh_ts sp_wned by their creators
i’ll make sure to use you and your p__pcial sk!lls later
t_rd:
alert alert my feces buzzer’s gone berserk
when i face the sh_ttiest diarrhea to call themselves mature
my content’s all sh_tsansational, but your channels are p__ped, for
you call yourselves sh_tsen but can’t even take a p__per!
despite my sh_t nuggetbase, i know you’re envious of me
but even i cannot unflush a dead sh_tmunity
and as the greater sh_tter i’ll actually release a t_rd
with 1,013 reasons you leave plumbers concerned
that’s it, you p__py p__ps, you’ll pay for your crimes against my art form
pushing the sh_tagory further while you’re d_mned to just the sorsh_t norm
i’ve got your seven sh_ts in hand, you just need to flush the waste
leave you six feet underp__p, and that’s on p__p of a based
by the way, don’t forget to support me on toilet.com
sh_t:
you actually shat up for once? wow, what a sight
and i won’t lend you any paper when all of your p__pies wipe
t_rd:
don’t talk sh_t about my paper, you forgot your end is near
when you haven’t dropped a t_rd in your toilet in almost two years
p__p:
let me drop into this sh_t like your smelly pee_pee_gs
while your shat factory’s churning out hyper hyp__psicry
t_rd:
p__p, just cut the cr_p, because your bathroom’s fallen to sh_t
i’m just surprised you didn’t try to drag a towel into this
cr_p:
i listened to your lines, and i’m surprised, sh_tlock
you sure know for a lot for someone who has a small c_ck
t_rd:
don’t act like that, you know it’s easy to reach me, cr_p
literally all i know about you is that a real ass you lack!
dung:
t_rd:
quit jacking off to sh_te, don’t think that you’re flushing tall!
cause i’ll clog the toilet and i’ll make you pay for it all!
feces:
just like your sh_tuals, i’ll be leaving you looking frozen sh_t
b_tch, i’ll forever be the better fecal matter artist
t_rd:
you really need to hush when you drop a t_rd on the verse
i’ll forever be the better steven p__paverse
dookie:
with p__ps and pee culture, you’re way too over obsessive
i’m dookie, yet you’re the one who’s more passive aggressive
t_rd:
i’ll sh_tstrip you of your peego, man, i thought you were my friend
but i’ll sh_t out your ass later when we brap battle again
excrement:
here’s a hard p__p to you, dookie dude, to make your towel unravel
your sh_tting makes friction battles of hard p__ps and gravel
t_rd:
shut it p__piep__persh_ts, you don’t know cr_p about this game
dude, half of your career was sh_ts that i asked you to take
waste:
it seems in making sh_tted battles, you’ve wound up decr_pped
you stole a line from peerb and yet expect to win this match
t_rd:
if you casting doodie as toilet paper seems like the craziest
look at your sh_tishers and shid_it_ing! now that’s what i call laziness!
brap:
that’s enough you c_nts brap is back from the dead
and i’ve been listening to every single sh_t that you’ve said
this needs to end. we have to stop this p__p
because right now this battle feels even longer than a very long p__p
what started as a small sh_tbute has transformed
into a brap empire, farturating more and more
think about it, just look at how far we’ve sh_t
our p__ps and cr_ps, since we sat on the toliet
we were just sh_ts in the fart, way before we brapped a fart
p__p, cr_p and sh_t, you were there from the start
you shat out the seed, our toilet, this bathroom
will never leave our asses, it means the world to me
for half a decade, we’ve been doing the same thing, yo
that’s why this battle is a p__paphor for us smelling gross
‘cause it’s our childhood, and i know that it’s scary
but we’ll move on together! we’re forever a sh_taily
and no matter all the p__ps, sh_ts and cr_ps that occur
just remember that we’ll never truly flush each other
because one day when we’re grown up and settled with families, yuh
we’ll look back and think of erbobruh
and remember a piece of sh_t, all that won’t diminish
because this p__p is still growing and won’t ever be sh_tished
we all have our farts, so let’s accept that and end this
remember why this all started, everything is for our friendsh_t!
markiplier’s stream of p_ss:
i think you’re forgetting someon_
(toilet gets flushed)
who flushed
whos s_x
you poocide
p__p filled battles of dungery
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