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i’m tired of feeling like i don’t belong
like being trans is a modern phenomenon
but throughout history, across cultures and time

i just want to live a normal life
as just myself
i want to be the real me
not what the world wants me to be

i’m finally here
but it’s still clear
you don’t want me to be myself
you want me to be someone else

from the two_spirit of native american tribes
to hijras in india, who were revered and admired
trans folks have always found ways to survive
despite societies that refuse to recognize

“woe to me, my mother, that you ever bore a son
what a great loss and no gain!
cursed be the one who announced to my father:
“it’s a boy!””

“oh, but had the artisan who made me, created me instead, a worthy woman
today i would be wise and insightful
we would weave, my friends and i
and in the moonlight spin our yarn
and tell our stories to one another
from dusk till midnight
we’d tell of the events of our day, silly things
matters of no consequence
but also i would grow very wise from the spinning
and i would say, “how lucky am i” to know how to make linen
how to comb [wool], and weave lace;
[to design] cup_like buds, open flowers, cherubim, palm trees
and all sorts of other fine things
colourful embroideries and furrow_like stitches.”
the people of sumer parade before you
the male prostitutes comb their hair before you
they decorate the napes of their necks with coloured scarfs
the women adorn their right side with men’s clothing
the men adorn their left side with women’s clothing
the ascending kurgarra priests raise their swords before you
to destroy, to create, to tear out, to establish are yours, inanna
to turn a man into a woman and a woman into a man are yours, inanna

we have been here forever
a natural product of evolution
you don’t understand what you don’t know
and getting scared just leads to your arrogant assumptions
i am scared for the future
we have seen so many places revert to their bigoted and xenophobic ways where we have to justify our existence
and be forced to live a lie or be k!lled in the streets
the dangerous precedents that have been set
no wonder i am scared and upset
it’s a dark future

even if i’m safe right now, it doesn’t mean i always will be

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