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empathy (aus) - appendix lyrics

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[intro]
sometimes you just gotta say “f_ck it”
do it yourself
huh

[verse]
emp stays independent forever
she beamin’, i d_ck her appendix down careless
drink from a chalice
ghb just ‘cause i got too much balance
walk on a tightrope, to some it’s a challenge
constantly knockin’ at the reapers door
ding and dong ditch, never take enough to really fall
i wish i would
i wish i could have the b_lls
say “f_ck it” one time and deport
out of my life but for now i’m just fried and i’m floored
stuck on the couch, get too high to do housework
i might f_ck around and take four
look at this corpse, stood up at six foot up in his grave
i get suicidal, it might turn the honda to porsche
acid ain’t give me no clarity lately but maybe i need to take more
i was a sh_t kid, l!ckin’ on these daughters
don’t walk around giving big d_ck aura
it make you seem small bruh
i was in the back with my bad one tell her “chop two, roll it all up”
putting my hand to the stove tryna see if i bleed
swear every time that i’m hearin’ that lyric i’m weak
bring me to tears ‘cause my girl and i d_mn near od’d
the other night casually woke up to breathe
look at the lines on the plate while she lookin’ at me
start to feel certain ways, but my high start to fade so i ain’t tryna f_ck
it’s really a problem i’m losing the love
love for myself is impossible without these drugs at the forefront
four blunts, still ain’t even high
five even lines, girl think i’m tryna die
i’m just tryna get back in my right mind
third eye fried too, redder than a stye
how many times have i thought about dialling a hotline?
then start crying, i don’t wanna waste their time
still i wanna waste my mind
and swear i know how i’d do it
30 opioids i’d sit there and chew ‘em
go out with the feelin’ i’m always pursuing
family broken, i struggle with place
panic attacks, i just stare into sp_ce
mate said he been dealing with all the same
but he take steps
making a plan tryna better his health
he on the mend, i’m so proud but i’m jealous
i know i could never
sh_t get depressing
only therapy i get in these presses of ecstasy pellets
motherf_ckin’ lab rat, test it on myself
got 50 notepads in my backpack
motherf_ck a shelf, and it’s f_ck help
sh_t how i heal, write scripts
write my own health
do a mad dash to a pack of some good weed
tell it by the smell
underwater so long, swear i grew a gill
still i put a p_ssy ass rapper on the muhf_ckin’ grill
said he want beef
f_ck with me dawg, i’m hungry but ill
from illegal thrills
started my life when i started with pills
me and homies never taught how to feel
hard as i try still i never felt real
never felt healed, girl feel the same
feeding outta compost heap; that my brain
if i ain’t got no braincells, i ain’t feel no pain
think i need rehab, ain’t know how i’d pay
no patience left, don’t f_ck with me today
askin’ for money, best watch what you say
tell you if you ain’t
f_ckin’ me, feedin’ me, payin’ me, f_ck out my face
comfortable place how it feel when they hate me
i ain’t got no issues but will if you fake me
these flakey ass rappers ain’t sh_t but a gimmick
you wrote a book on me they’d be in the appendix (aye)

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