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dxtn - life of questions lyrics
slowly cruising through the pouring rain
traffic light reflections
green or red a life of questions
count your blessings
helps not feel the pain
for months i’ve felt the same
when alone i felt insane
it’s something that i can’t explain
this sh_t is really f_cking me up
i guess this is just the life that comes from not giving a f_ck
swear i lost my sense of reality
my whole life i’ve been battling myself
i’ll do anything for the wealth
money problems are far too common
younger me dreaming of ballin
always checkin my shoulders
paranoia hauntin
tragic stories of the fallen
long live make a life that’s never forgotten
on my momma kinda scared
it’s the music that i love
but the life that comes with its feared
and it might be times to face those fears
(sh_ts only gonna get worse when you think about it)
sometimes i just need to sit in a silent room
peace reminds me to get a grip
cause life’s gonna fly by us soon
subconsciously running from my fears
for years i’ve steered actions
based off of temporary emotions
while staring deeply at oceans
i realized i’m just a byproduct of
my conditions
i’ve seen emotions and ego take over
never once has ended good
so why the f_ck would even bother
arguing
and starting sh_t
i would rather just pay no mind
saving my time and energy
not a lot of people are friends with me
it’s hard to get ahold of me
forever lost in my dark fantasy
got sick addictions, twisted fictions
thoughts i hope no one can see
no one has sh_t they can hold over me
cause where was my help
learned how to make a song from scratch
now look how the cards are dealt
life’s a movie that’s just based on yourself
(beat switch)
sometimes it just be hard for me to say how i really feel
because i know how you’ll react once i let it spill
but what’s the point of life
family friends & love
or money, f_ckin b_tches, foreign cars
we all got different views lookin up we see the same stars
my girlfriend telling me she’s worried about my health
she telling me she thinks i really should better myself
i really want to but for some reason i can’t
she helped me figure out how i can be a better man
at 18 i was close minded
searching for some confidence i couldn’t find it
honestly i’m still lookin
i started smokin pain away
no wonder i was still hurtin
felt my family treating me different
felt they was seeing me different
caged and trapped inside of my inanis mind
on my hands was nothing but way to much free time
who’s your enemy cause i was mine
felt like i was behind
felt like i was benign
to everyone exept myself
felt like maybe i will get some help
but god sent an angel
when life’s down bad try to look at different angles
everything happens for a reason
all you got is lemons then you better get to squeezing
music helps relieve my pain
since i started sh_t ain’t been the same
a blessing and a curse
quiet cause i observe
questioning my worth
why am i here on earth
but i found my real purpose and now it’s just time to work
10 thousand hours and more to count for
leaning towards a creative world to explore
we at war with our minds
focus on the forwards who cares about the behinds
sometimes you gotta fall just to grow
there’s no happy without sad
and that is just how it goes
(well as you can see there’s a deeper lesson to be learned from the simple things in life
from the pain you’ve suffered at night)
for the longest i had felt like i wasn’t really myself
cause these 4 walls caused nothing but silence
i’m at war with myself no violence
inside of my bedroom stu
i couldn’t leave
that started when i was 19
looking back i wouldn’t have change a thing
for hours i’m gazing at the pouring rain
so peaceful i hear my phone ring
my sister had sent a text
topics got me thinking back just 3 years
when i was still young dumb broke
it wasn’t rare for me to see tears
i had the drive that turned me into a king
student mind i’m always learning
still so far from perfect
questioned if it was worth it
but this is my passion and i cannot desert it
i been living in this life of questions
am i counting up my blessing
what’s the meaning of these lessons
keep going don’t quit
always asking myself what if
even though it dont exist
mystery lies within the abyss
happiness in the unknown
with too much time spent on phones
real connections are rare
i’ve been running away from fears
for as long as i can remember
lost myself in december 18
but that summer was like a scene
zay & i was smokin weed
snowy idyllwild trees
we first seen our potential
young and open minded that life was so simple
now i escape through a pencil
get lost in instrumentals
floating down my river of thought
every once & awhile sh_t gon get hard
just make sure you keep holding on
don’t second guess
because you know you’re not wrong
life of an artist
what a blessing and a curse
but the music is worth
the pain the gain the fame the shame
you get whats deserved
that’s the karma on earth
you still trying to find out your worth
you think that you just deserve
a life of happiness and wealth
you gotta make that sh_t yourself
you gotta better your health
you gotta free your mind
you gotta cherish time
only you can bring meaning to your life
you gotta sacrifice and i know you already know that
working with tunnel vision until they do see me winnin
trust me this is the beginnin
i’m doing it by myself
making music for the love of it
looking forward to not struggling
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