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drive by truckers - the president's penis is missing lyrics
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(news flash!!!)
(scene: the press corps have descended upon the white house, a spokesperson
begins to speak:)
“they looked in the white house and capitol hill
they looked everywhere for buffalo bill
we called every scholar, reporter, and genius
has anyone seen the president’s p-n-s?â€
“it ain’t in the congress or judiciary
it ain’t in the smithsonian or that big ole library
an astronomer claims it was sighted on venus
has anyone seen the president’s p-n-s?â€
(now the entire press corp. erupts in song:)
“the president’s p-n-s is missing ole’!!!
we searched high and low, every night everyday
lord, won’t you come down and redeem us
has anyone seen the president’s p-n-s?â€
(at this point, legendary news man walter cronkite returns from the moon to
add his commentary:)
“now presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways
in the 80’s we elected one missing his brain
george washington caught a cold he couldn’t explain
and we all know the truth about thomas jefferson’s nameâ€
(suddenly william randolph hurst rises from the grave and bellows out in an
orson welles type voice:)
“franklin d. roosevelt wasn’t no square
with that raging woodrow in his wheelchair
and all the lesbians snickered that elenor didn’t care
and john kennedy’s p-n-s was seen everywhereâ€
(once again everyone breaks out in gleeful song:)
“the president’s p-n-s is missing ole’!!!
we searched high and low every night every day
lord won’t you come down and redeem us
has anyone seen the president’s p-n-s?â€
(the scene shifts to sen. john glenn, wandering pensively, somewhere in sp-ce:)
“them outer sp-ce people would laugh if they’d seen us
all this talk about c-m-stains and oral coitus
meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness
but we’re more concerned with the president’s p-n-sâ€
the end?
lyrics by patterson hood
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